Thursday, June 24, 2010
Fists Of Bruce Lee - 1/5
This Bruce Li vehicle this time has our look-alike star as a secret agent going undercover as a security camera installer to bring down a major crime lord. While doing so he falls in love with his daughter and starts to have moral quarrels with himself while kicking the ass out of goons that pop up at every street corner.
This awful excuse for a martial arts film is a poor man's rip-off James Bond. It's so bad that's its even the white soaked excrement of "Black Eagle" which in turn is a poor man's rip-off James Bond. The first act of the film literally plays like James Bond film except on fast forward. The fast pace is not in the films favor as it is so poorly edited, written, and directed that one can't follow what the hell is going on. Who is he a secret agent for? It bounces around so much that one cannot follow. Bruce Li must have found something in the plot worthwhile because not only does he star in it, he also fucking directs it as well! A fighter turned director... no wonder the directing is so shitty. I'm talking about poor zooms, shaky pans, and sequences that are even out of focus. Come on Bruce! Was money so tight on this production that he had to pretend to be director as well? Thank God this is only one of two directorial jobs he took. The dialogue... oh the dialogue! One character even tells Bruce Li that "when we meet next time, we'll either be friends or enemies." What?! That's the most asinine statement I have ever heard! That's like saying while going into an elevator "next time we will either go up or down." NO SHIT! To top it off this film steals it's score from not one, not two, but three James Bond films. There is musical cues stolen from Live and Let Die, The Man With the Golden, and The Spy Who Loved Me. I think I burst a vein when I heard the awesome main theme to Live and Let Die during a chase scene. This film is so cheap and shitty that it even has the balls to steal scores from the very series it's ripping off!
I usually have a soft spot for these shameless Bruce Lee knock-offs as I enjoy their low-budget cheesiness but Fists of Bruce Lee is a step below the other films in the bunch mostly thanks to none-existent directing and plot flow. Go watch Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger or Chinese Connection 2 before degrading to this drivel.
Bonus Rant Part I: This DVD of this film has the absolute worst Pan & Scan from widescreen transfer I have ever seen! There are sequences with characters talking to one another but you can't see either of the characters because the pan & scan blows up the film between them! In order to make the titles during the title sequence fit the screen they even stretch the film so all the character's look ten feet tall!
Bonus Rant Part II: What is up with some of these Bruceploitation titles using the name "Bruce Lee" in the title? That's like calling The Beastmaster "The Biceps of Arnold Schwarzenegger" despite Arnold not being in the film. These titles are just annoying!
Written By Eric Reifschneider