Xtro 3 (1995)

XTRO 3

AKA "Xtro 3: Watch the Skies", "Xtro: Watch the Skies"

You thought you were horrified by the "Xtro" alien raping a woman in the original film? There was a much more heinous action going on behind the camera as director Harry Bromley Davenport was raping the "Xtro" name in order to make the completely unrelated and lame "Xtro II: The Second Encounter". But he wasn't done taking advantage of the "Xtro" name yet, oh no, he bent that Xtro bitch over the table one more time and let the motherfucker have it in order to make yet another unrelated sequel. Sure the final product comes out a hair better than that garbage second entry but I doubt many will be tuning into the series by this point, except people gung-ho on torturing themselves like me apparently.

A super-scripted "3"! Haven't we ripped off the "Alien" franchise enough already? Is the next sequel going to be called "Xtro: Resurrection" or "Xtros", Christ!

A group of military soldiers are sent to a remote Pacific island in order to prep it for a new fueling station. Of course it's a military cover-up and it ends up a 50 year old alien is trapped on the island and our dimwitted soldiers unwittingly release the bastard from his concrete cage and he goes all 'predator' on their ass, blaming the soldiers for the death of its mate and child.

"Take me to your leader"

Whereas "Xtro II" ripped off "Aliens", Davenport enlisted writers to rip-off another popular killer alien flick, this time "Predator", right down to the alien creature having the ability to camouflage itself with invisibility. Though the alien's look is far from looking as grand as Stan Winston's brilliant design, I do have to give the film credit as it is still refreshing to see a practical effects as opposed to crummy CGI which was starting to rear its ugly head in cheaply made sci fi movies at the time (some bad CGI does make an appearance but it's very limited).

"I touched the script and it's eating away my hand!"

Davenport's direction seems more involved than he was in the second film, but it's still very pedestrian not added by a shoe-string low budget. I did dig the Alien revenge aspect of the plot but overall Davenport has the film move at a dull pace and it's hard to get involved with annoying and one-dimensional characters, even with veteran actors Robert Culp and Andrew Divoff making easy paycheck appearances.

An "Xtro" fan takes his own life after viewing another unreleated sequel

I will admit Davenport did seem to try with this film, but it's still a failure thanks to a cliché plot, bad acting and overall shoestring budget. I did like the use of practical effects but overall it just seems like another forgettable direct-to-video sci fi  flick that barely ekes above the drivel you would catch on the Syfy Channel at 1 in the morning. "Xtro 3" would be totally forgotten today if it weren't for its namesake tying it to the cult following of the 1983 original film. Hell, I'll admit, it worked on me.  This might come as a total shock but skip this film and stick to the psychotic original.

 Written By Eric Reifschneider

Mother's Day (2010/2012)

To be perfectly honest with all of you avid readers, I'm not a very good cult fan. I only say this because Troma films simply don't do it for me. I get the appeal, but the tongue in cheek low budget style never grabs me. Thusly I was one of the handful that didn't have a problem at all with a "Mother's Day" remake, particularly because I find Darren Lynn Bousman to be a rather impressive modern horror director. So here we are, one more remake down on the never-ending remake train and the result is an intense home invasion flick that modernizes its exploitation elements nicely while delivering some whopping performances.

When a bank robbery goes drastically wrong, a trio of brothers take shelter in their old house to escape the authorities and tend to the one brother who was shot. Little do they know, their old house was picked up off of a foreclosure and the party that the new home owners are throwing is going to give them a bit of a problem. This means mother (De Mornay) must be called upon to fix the situation.

The aftermath of the most intense game of bloody knuckles known to man.

Although home invasion horror/thrillers are a dime a dozen anymore, the scale in going about them has been heightened in the last few years. "The Last House On The Left" remake took the cheesy original story to new levels of artistic intensity and the Spanish film "Kidnapped" is one of the most intense films you will ever watch. Ever. Thusly, "Mother's Day" has a lot of very good competition. Despite some great moments and a stunningly well built cast, the film is just a cut under the previously mentioned gems.

I appreciate how simple "Mother's Day" is as a film. The concept is basic: robbers bust into the wrong house, guests must figure out a way to escape/survive, and shit repeatedly happens. Not all that original, but an effective formula nonetheless. What makes this film rock and roll are two things: the directing and the cast. Bousman earns his merit by giving the film a combined look of modern sleek camera work and old school exploitation elements. He loves to utilize the ensemble cast with lots of great banter and oddly memorable one liners and his intensity for violence is only hindered by a lacking budget (which is why I assume some of the death sequences aren't as extreme as he normally would take it) which tends to favor some odd placed CGI gore. He loves to throw the characters into some very extreme situations and it makes for a wild ride for the audience who continually thinks "What would I do in that situation?". This is easily heightened by a stellar cast of secondary genre regulars who all own their respective roles. Just look at the cast on IMDB and see how many other horror films you've seen them in, I'm sure it's quite a few.

So sweet she might bake you cookies. With rat poison in them.

The general casting is great, but its Rebecca De Mornay that really steals the film. Her balance of bat shit insane and sweet motherly caring makes for an ambitious villain role that pushes the film out of its cliche territory and into something a little more unique. The dynamic of the family is creepily effective at times and with her as a ring leader its hard not to cringe with how it all works.

Coke addiction and a love for "Hellraiser" make for some horrible nights.

Unfortunately, there are quite a few plot holes that drag the film down a bit. Some characters are left in the dust of pacing convenience and some of the more intense moments feel rather out of sync with the rest of the film. When you have a cast this size, some characters are simply not going to get the full arcs they need (the adulterous woman for example is there for progression only and when she kicks the bucket we could care less) and this film falls prey to that. It also pushes a few moments into areas that are seemingly out of place. Having one of our killers force two young men to kill one another at the ATM is an intense scene, but it rarely makes sense in the full spectrum. It's as if by the end of the movie, they needed to kill off a lot of characters and had to just throw in whatever to get it done. Some characters just up and disappear (has anyone seen Lydia after it would seem she's about to switch sides? No?) and it can be frustrating.

"Mother's Day" still remains head and tails above its originator in quality and execution. It has plenty of memorable moments to kick it up as a great modern horror film, but its lacking cohesion in character arcs/plot holes hinders it from matching the work done many other great home invasion flicks in the last handful of years.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Xtro II: The Second Encounter (1991)

XTRO II: THE SECOND ENCOUNTER

AKA "Xtro 2", "Xtro II", "Xtro 2: The Second Encounter"

Eight years is a hell-of-a long time to wait for a sequel, especially to a film so poorly received like the 1983 alien gore flick "Xtro". Still, in all its trashy onslaught to the senses, "Xtro" garnered a strong cult following on the home video market after a lukewarm reception in theaters and this small legion of fans were ready to lap up this long-awaited sequel to their gooey guilty pleasure.  Despite being made direct-to-video, fans still had hope this sequel could match the bizarre schizophrenic nature of the original since British director Harry Bromley Davenport would be returning behind the camera. All I can say is fans were NOT dished up a sequel they were expecting but instead a steaming bowl of alien excrement left over from extraterrestrial in the original movie.

A government experiment goes haywire in an underground facility when some soldiers disappear after being sent to an alternate dimension. In comes Jan-Michael Vincent collecting an easy paycheck as an ex-scientist on the project who is begged to come back to save their lives. Soon one of the soldiers returns, but the kicker is she's been impregnated by some interdimensional alien and out pops a killer alien baby out of her chest (sound familiar?) and grows to a considerable size. Now our remaining scientists and soldiers have to hunt it down in air ducts and kill the damn thing before the lab self destructs.

"Take me to your leader"

"Xtro II" is a sequel purely motivated by money and director Harry Bromley Davenport has even admitted in interviews that he only made the film because he needed a job... and it shows. Through a quirk in contract he retained the rights to the title "Xtro" but not to the storyline thus he employed four screenwriters (it took that many to make this mess?) to write up a completely unrelated story, sign on some second rate actors and run with it.

"You're gonna pay me how much to appear in your shitty sequel? This is a joke right?"

The plot is nothing but a second rate clone of "Alien" and "Aliens" right down to Davenport trying to emulate James Cameron's style his celebrated sequel. Unlike Cameron's film "Xtro II" will never be a well received follow-up, even among fans, as Davenport seems purely on cruise control giving the film none of the likeable psychotic atmosphere and energy he displayed in the original. To top it off has-been actor Jan-Michael Vincent seems like he could give a shit to appear in such a silly monster movie as his performance is phoned in and is as distant as the alternate dimension the alien creature comes from.

This was the actual actor's reaction after seeing final cut of the film

I enjoy "Alien" rip-offs as much as the next B-movie enthusiast but "Xtro II" is one of the most lame of the bunch. It's just dull, non-enjoyable and all-around artless film that is completely unrelated to the guilty pleasure original and in turn alienates the fans in the process. Due yourself a favor, check out "Creature", "Galaxy of Terror" or "Forbidden World" for an entertaining trashy "Alien" rip-off and blast "Xtro II" through the airlock into outer space to collect with all the other space junk clogging our heavens. This wouldn't be the last Harry Bromley Davenport would rape the "Xtro" name as "Xtro 3" would infect video store shelves 4 years after the fact.

 Written By Eric Reifschneider

Familiar (2012)

Fatal Pictures brought the short film "Worm" to Blood Brothers for review quite some time ago and the surprise that it held in its short run time of tense inner turmoil was impressive to say the least. So its not so surprising that the follow up film from producer Zach Green and writer/director Richard Powell would follow in a similar tradition, but this time taking the psychological aspects and morphing them into a fully "fleshed" out horror experience.

John Dodd (Nolan) has been having some serious thoughts lately. His wife has been grating on his nerves with the mundane modern life and his daughter is finally ready to head off to college and the timing seems right for him to finally do things for himself. These serious thoughts have become blacker and blacker lately though and they're starting to seem like another person is in his head that is pushing him to do some drastic things to free himself. It's time to decide who is really calling the shots though when the thoughts take it too far and the results he finds may leave him scarred for the rest of his life.

"Familiar" builds the audience with it's lead and his internal thoughts. His psyche seems buried in savagery as he desperately clings onto whatever he can to find himself. The slow burn of the first half of the film is punctuated by a super strong performance from Nolan who's ability to stare at a camera adds unique nuances to the film's slow moving and tense psychological build thanks to some great atmosphere of its writing and directing. Although the supporting cast is limited with their time on screen, they're strong and massively supportive of the overall aura of "Familiar". This combination of Powell's ability to craft thick atmosphere and strong performances gives the heavily narrated film enough energy to lock it's audience in tight.

Then the film takes a drastic Cronenbergian twist for its final act, thrusting Dodd and his increasingly torn mentality straight into the horror grinder. Not to give too much away for those intrigued to see the film, the "voice" in his head begins to manifest itself in physical ways onto the character - pushing the film into that territory of physical grotesqueness that blends with the psychological horror beautifully. This is all done with some top of the line special effects (seriously some of the best I've seen in the handful of short films I've seen throughout my time as a writer here at Blood Brothers) that are guaranteed to make a few squeamish with it's results.

"Familiar" is very similar to Fatal Pictures' "Worm" in the first portion of the film, but its the twisted finale that ultimately sold this reviewer on the entire experience. It's a stunningly crafted and gorgeous independent film that works the nerves in some truly horrifying ways playing on expectations and against the grain for better effect. Highly recommended for fans of horror that can get their hands on seeing the film. Blood Brothers approved!

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Kung Fu Dunk (2008)

After surprising me with his acting chops in "Curse Of The Golden Flower" and then seeing him back to back in "True Legend" and "The Green Hornet", Jay Chou is started to become an interest of mine. The guy is a popular singer/songwriter in China and his acting career seems to be launching like a rocket, so when the opportunity to review the comedy action of "Kung Fu Dunk" the chance had to be taken up. Although its blend of over the top humor and over the top martial arts action is heavily pulled from Stephen Chow films (see "Shaolin Soccer"), the film lacks a bit of cohesiveness that would make it work like it needed. It relies on the charm of its lead and goofiness of its story to sell itself and at times it's enough to get through, but its not enough to truly send this film soaring like the dunks in its basketball sequences.

 Fang Shijie (Chou) was abandoned by a basketball court as a child. Upon discovery, he is raised in a temple of kung fu masters, where his masters and teachers find his defiant ways unsettling as a grows older despite his talent at light footed kung fu. While helping a new found friend Uncle Li (Tsang) fight off some collectors at a night club, Shijie is expelled from school and is forced to rely on Uncle Li in the real world. Together they come up with a plan...use his kung fu light feet and accuracy to earn his way as a basketball star at a university and hopefully find his parents in the mean time.

"Forget about "Green Hornet" or I'll punch you til you forget!"

On the positive side, "Kung Fu Dunk" is a lot of fun. It's packed to the brim with caricatures as characters, slap stick comedy, and super goofy and entertaining action. The basketball sequences are delightfully complex in their ridiculousness as multiple players launch six or seven feet into the air for ally-oops or shots are made flawlessly from half court and the outrageousness of the what goes down within these sequences (full on kung fu battles with robed masters of wind, needles, and anti-gravity movement? Why the hell not?) is hard not to keep one without a smile on their face. The obvious underlying message of how media treats "sports stars" is prevalent and worthy enough to give the movie a little bit of a deeper meaning and a strong mentor/mentee relationship portrays the cliche sport film nicely. "Kung Fu Dunk" is simply a visual treat of humor and cartoon like comedy that fans of Stephen Chow will love.

Inspiration from "NBA Jam"?

The major issues of "Kung Fu Dunk" are not the fun moments it can pop out, but rather the way it goes about it all. The structure and balance of the film do not flow at all. It's almost like a film whose attention span is as out of control as its characters as it leaps from scene to scene, breaking its own rules and throwing in elements that are never fully developed. A romantic subplot seems very relevant throughout the first two-thirds only to have a resolution tacked onto the ending. The search for his parents is underdeveloped for its final moments to pack the punch they need. The supporting cast of his teammates is fun, but rarely embraced in the writing. Even the reincorporated "ability to bend particles and time" comes out of the blue to give us a twist at the that makes not a lick of sense. This screws with the balance of seriousness and humor in the film (particularly when it comes to our lead's character growth in his search for parents) and it leaves the film feeling more hollow than expected.

Eric Tsang in one of his wide variety of roles.

For Jay Chou, its a wonderful experiment to see how he pulls off comedy in a larger film setting (which his soft spoken character does often enough with finesse) and the supporting cast of caricatures and ridiculous action sequences make "Kung Fu Dunk" a blast to watch if one is in the mood for goofy humor. Although the film suffers from unbalanced flow and choppy structure, it grew on me with its charming moments. Not great by any means, but a fun watch for those willing to set aside the constraints of reality.

BLOODY BONUS FEATURES
The Well Go USA release of "Kung Fu Dunk" may not be packed to the gills with features, but they do add onto the experience. Behind the scenes and interviews really bring to life some of the decisions made for the film (particularly when it comes to how complex the action set pieces are) and are well worth the watch for those who even enjoyed the film a little bit.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Innkeepers, The (2011)

With "The House Of The Devil" under his belt in all of its 80s glory, Ti West's next project is of a similar taste albeit more modern in its look than the above mentioned gem. "The Innkeepers" crafts another film thick with suffocating atmosphere, long winding shots, and minimal deviations from the premise. This time around he throws a bit of a modern spin on it and gives a clever combination of old and new styles to make "The Innkeepers" a statement that doesn't rely on retro aspects.

Claire (Paxton) and Luke (Healy) are the last two employees as the failing Yankee Pedler Inn. Although its a beautiful and historically set place for a few stragglers to rest their weary heads, lacking business has lead it to close after the weekend. This just makes Luke and Claire's attempts at grabbing proof of the ghost in the Inn more imperative. With only a handful of guests and the two of them running the ship, they decide to push the ghost of a suicidal woman from decades ago into action. The action they receive isn't quite the proof they were so desperate for.

A fantastic setting let's director Ti West treat us with visuals.

Whether you want to admit it or not, in all honesty, it's very easy to see why so many individuals thought "The Innkeepers" was boring. Just like with "House Of The Devil", Ti West's style is that of the slow burning, tension building, atmosphere dense variety. This isn't your average modern ghost tale for sure and his use of long shots that focus on mood will have some people on the verge of tears in boredom. Even I found myself once or twice wondering what the point was after a few measly jump scares and the massive amounts of character building. West takes his sweet time with the modern and witty dialogue to build tension, atmosphere, and characters and many folk will find this unnecessary.

West saves the film from dragging by creating a beautiful film. His Kubrickian style of script building and camera work heavily resembles the classic "The Shining" at times and he creates such a real universe for the story and characters to exist in that it was hard to shake when the credits began to roll. The Inn becomes this other character with its own personality and the way he builds up to a the simple scare of a piano key being pressed down is truly the art of horror. He makes you completely dread the fact that its going to happen even though you already know its going to happen. The ability to craft this kind of atmosphere is a rare trait and Ti West glorifies it on "The Innkeepers".

Also my reaction to Paxton's starring role in "Shark Night".

All of this slow burn also gives under a fantastic pay off. With the two fantastic actors in our lead roles (the focus falls on Paxton who has become quite the little scream queen in the last handful of years with "Last House On The Left" and "Shark Night" coming to the top of my head), West is able to work it out and give the finale a real punch. Creepy, frightening, intense. The final fifteen minutes will have you shaking in your boots. It's not all that original of an ending and it throws a final twist that is fairly obvious (but does leave the audience thinking for a little bit), but the execution is phenomenal.

Cliche perhaps, but scary as hell when done right.

Horror fans will not find "The Innkeepers" as a film that blows the ghost genre out of the water. It really doesn't as it follows most of the usual formulas for going about the ordeal, but the execution of the film on screen and behind the camera is damn near flawless. West owns the film with his dense atmosphere and great characters and the visual style of the film is old school flattery for its leads and setting. "The Innkeepers" might not be new news for horror residents, but its sure to please long standing fans.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Underworld: Awakening (2012)

Directors: Mans Marlind, Bjorn Stein
Notable Cast: Kate Beckinsale, India Eisley, Theo James, Michael Ealy, Stephen Rea, Charles Dance

If one is up to date on the Underworld franchise and how it works, then Underworld: Awakening is going to certainly strike that special spot for those looking for sleek action packed vampire/werewolf throw downs. If you are not familiar with the style of the films (catch up with our reviews for Underworld, Evolution, and Rise Of The Lycans), then let the eye rolling commence. This fourth entry is easily the weakest in its writing (which is saying quite a bit) with little added to the characters and less added to the mythos of the franchise. It also happens to be the most exciting, instead focusing on creating dynamic action set pieces and setting up a new era for our vampire heroin to kick ass in. It's a trade off that makes for a weak entry, but one that entertains the shit out of you anyway.

Plot of Fear (1976)

PLOT OF FEAR

I had no idea what to expect when first getting ready to view "Plot of Fear". Was it a horror film, a drama, a Poliziotteschi? To my surprise it ended up being a giallo, but an atypical giallo as it doesn't follow the blue-prints first set forth by genre greats Mario Bava and Dario Argento.  Due to this it may alienate a few fans of the genre that live and breathe the Bava/Argento formula but for me it was a breath of fresh air making it a rather unique Italian film experience.

The audience gets a shock right away with a guy getting strangled to death by a dominatrix. After the opening credits another brutal killing occurs with a woman beat to death with a wrench on a public transit bus. Two violent killings this early in the film... what is this film going to turn into? Each killing has a picture cut out of a children's fairy tale book left at the crime scene and a detective finds that all the killings trace back to an upper class orgy party where a prostitute was accidently killed after having a heart attack when the host and party-goers playfully joked they were going to feed her to a pet tiger (?!?!). Things get a little more complicated when our detective gets involved with one of the women at the party and has to find the killer before she becomes the next stiff at the morgue.

"There are two types of gialli in this world my friend... those with mysterious gloved killers and those without"

Italian films are known for low budgets but the production value for "Plot of Fear" is quite lavish. Beautiful and colorful sets and locations highlighted gorgeous cinematography and lighting. Director Paolo Cavara, director of the wonderful giallo "The Black Belly of the Tarantula", knows what it takes to make a visual feast and loads the film with all the staples of Italian cinema with tantalizing shots, steamy sex scenes (including an orgy while watching a hilarious erotic cartoon), and brutal violence (including but not limited to burnings and car accidents).  His direction is aided by a unique flashback structure to the plot and by some talented cast members including genre actor John Steiner and Americans Tom Skerritt and Eli Wallach.

Any plot that surrounds a dead hooker has to be interesting

What plagues many gialli is the weak leading character and sadly "Plot of Fear" falls prey to this fault as our lead detective (Michele Placido) just isn't overly enthralling. At least this time the character is a detective instead of an average Joe solving the case outside without police involvement like every other giallo in the genre. The killer, for my taste, is also hinted at too early in the film and the score is a bizarre second rate acid rock score reminiscent of Gary Sherman's "Raw Meat".

One of the many grisly death scenes

Even with its few faults, "Plot of Fear" ends up being something a little different on the menu for fans of the genre and not just another clone of the Bava/Argento formula. You won't find any gloved and masked killers roaming the sets here but the interesting flashback structure, loads of steamy sex and other oddities (like a prostitute being scared to death by a pet tiger) is easily enough to make this well worth buying for Italian film buffs. The RaroVideo DVD release is amazing unleashing this rather rare giallo into the United States for the first time in gorgeous anamorphic widescreen and a load of special features. Also included is the original Italian track with subtitles for the purists and the English dub for those that prefer cheesy dubbing. Visit their website for more information or to purchase the disc.

 Written By Eric Reifschneider

Xtro (1983)

XTRO

Like many films from my childhood, I rented or bought based on titles and box artwork alone and what could be cooler than a film that began with a letter "X" and featured a deadly, ugly-ass alien on the cover artwork? Far be it from me I was in store for one of the most schizophrenic, convoluted and all around fucked up films I had ever seen  that would seriously screw up my whole outlook on life!

We open with a loving family vacationing in their village home when the father gets abducted by aliens. Years later, out of the blue, the father shows up again to rejoin his family. Two problems: 1) his wife has moved on with a new lover and 2) he is now a bloodsucking ugly fuck of an alien! Now daddy wants to change his son into a skeletal alien and take him to his new home, but not before he kills many people in gruesome ways along the way.

"Take me to your leader!"

I can't explain how thoroughly fucked up this film is. First of all director Harry Bromley Davenport goes out of his way to make this one of the most gory, grotesque and nauseating  films I have ever seen when it comes to bloody special effects effects. Blood is the name of the game and when you think Davenport can't out due himself, he shows a women, recently impregnated by an alien, give birth to our abducted father as a full grown man in mess of blood and guts flowing from between her legs. It's a jaw-dropping and gut-wrenching sequence that the film has become widely known for.

This scene can't possibly end well

The plot is an absolute mess with crazy ass shit happening all over the place. Our abducted father melts phones, eats pet snake eggs but the film hits the 'bat shit' crazy button when our young boy brings his toy soldier to life to kill his bitch of a neighbor. Where the fuck did this scene come from? Hell a demonic midget clown and a black panther even make an appearance to make the audience think they've gone into complete hysteria!

This G. I. Joe still emotes more emotion than Channing Tatum

The cast of British actors is surprisingly good for this type of gore flick (including the sexy future Bond girl Maryam d'Abo doing a full frontal nudity scene) and the film does have a really bleak, morbid and bizarre atmosphere that I dug, but I do suspect the atmosphere was all by complete accident. Overall "Xtro" is just a schizophrenic mess with everything but the kitchen sink thrown into the plot to shock and awe the audience. This schizo feel and morbid atmosphere is actually what makes "Xtro" worth watching, if one can get past the awful screaming synthesizer soundtrack provided by none-other than the director himself. For fans of the fucked-up, grotesque and bizarre, "Xtro" is definitely a must watch. Followed by two completely unrelated sequels.

 Written By Eric Reifschneider

Transporter, The (2002)

There is something charismatic and enjoyable about "The Transporter". I won't lie to you and tell you that it's a great film whose acting and story will redefine modern action films. It doesn't. It's a full throttle Luc Besson film where the ridiculousness of its premise is only carried through by the extensiveness of its action and charm of its lead. Often enough "The Transporter" is a silly plot hole riddled film whose by the numbers story rarely breaks action film formula for more than a few seconds. That being said it has three things going for it. 1) Jason Statham in his 'I'll kick your ass and charm you at the same time' mode. 2) Action sequences done by Corey Yuen. 3) A nonchalant attitude towards anything you can bitch about. These three things make "The Transporter" one of the most ridiculously fun action films of the last 20 years.

Frank Martin (Statham) is the best of the best when it comes to transporting cargo. He never asks questions, he sticks to the deal, and he's arrogantly effective at it. He's an expert at driving and evading and he never breaks the rules. When a deal goes sour and a ruthless business man tries to kill him, Frank decides the rules have to be void and he goes out to get his due only to find that the humanity within his cold killer heart might take him too far as he attempts to help a young woman (Qi) in need.

If you think he's waiting, you're already dead.

"The Transporter" is rarely a top quality film, but the sheer enjoyment that I receive from watching it overrides any of that. Luc Besson can take the oddest and most simplistic story, make it outrageous, and somehow pull it off with style. Co-directed by Leterrier and Yuen, the combination of action and a lead character we love to watch tear shit up is lethal. Statham owns the role as Frank Martin (the role that really kick started his career as the leading action star for this generation) and his ability to be both scary, funny, and heroic is innate to this film working. He chews up scene after scene and even when the film gets really ridiculous like parachuting onto a semi from a crop duster or the 'oh damn!' over the top attack on his house, he owns it like it isn't as stupid as it is. This ability to transverse the silly plot, through both Statham and the directors, makes "The Transporter" significant fun.

"I'll bet your left knee I can make this shot."

It also helps that "The Transporter" never falls into a 'modern action' routine of over shaken cameras and too much editing. The fight sequences are simply stellar. The hand to hand combat is over the top and intense with gun fights galore, a knife fight in the middle of a bus, car chases, and a throw down on an oil spill where Frank uses bicycle pedals on his feet to keep balance. Yes, it might be over the top and ridiculous - but Yuen plasters the film with amazing choreography and enough charm to make all of it memorable and flashy. Without the gimmicks of camera tricks.

When all else fails cover yourself in oil. Except when putting out fires. That's just a poor choice.

It's understandable why "The Transporter" became the go to action franchise in the last decade. Statham owns as the lead and the basic story can go a thousand places with ridiculous moments and action packed set pieces. Perhaps not the high quality film some would want to see (I would have liked to see a stronger leading lady for the film), but it does everything it can with what it has to win you over. Blood Brother approved!

Written By Matt Reifschneider