Diary Of The Dead (2007) - 2.5/5

Of all of Romero's "Dead" films, it's "Diary Of The Dead" that certainly evokes the most distress from me. Where as "Land Of The Dead" had a certain charm to it despite its flaws, this low budget "re-imagining" of the initial days during the end of the world has some of Romero's most intriguing ideas and some of the most idiotic moments...leaving a film that is as mixed as my reactions to it. I was either grinning like an kid or grimacing in pain.

When the zombie apocalypse begins to errupt across the world, a group of young college filmmakers lead by idealist Jay (Close) decide to film their journeys home so that others can learn from their successes and mistakes. Their road trip through hell will take them into all kinds of situations including rogue National Guard, militant survivors, and empty hospitals...all the while as they try maintain their own sanity in a zombie infested world.

Although the 'found footage' style of "Diary" certainly takes Romero and his franchise into some new territory, it never left me (as I watched the film) that he could have done it better without the stylistic choice. It hits home the concepts about truth through the eyes of those involved and how spin works in media (those good solid social commentaries that Romero seems oddly able to fit so perfectly into zombie films), but those wouldn't have been lost had he done it as a film without the style. As is, his work in the first person POV can be rather awkward even at its best.

Beyond the stylistic choice in going into the film, "Diary" is also spotty with its script and acting. Our heroes do some pretty silly things without the proper build up to the decisions and many of their trials and tribulations between each other (particularly between our camera man and his girlfriend) seem forced and oddly executed. There are some great moments in the film, just the last act is insanely effective, but for each one of those we have a deaf Amish person with a scythe. Or something equally as awkward and unintentionally funny.

I love the concept of "Diary Of The Dead" and the moments where it works are exceptional, but its too wishy washy in the attempts at getting to those moments. The pacing can be hit or miss, many plot progressions are forced, and the acting can be atrocious at times. Romero worked his way through with charm and commentary on the previous entry, but "Diary" simple fails to find the balance here. A disappointing aftertaste for a great director.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Child's Eye, The (2010) - 1.5/5

"The Child's Eye" is almost a relief to me. It's good to know that the US isn't the only country that is making shitty mainstream horror films. Whew! That's a burden off of my shoulders! This fourth entry into the "Eye" franchise (where each entry has nothing to do with one another sans being ghost stories) is perhaps the worst yet or at least gives the awful "The Eye 3" a run for its money in crappiness. It's silly, not scary, makes no sense, and worst of all - it was shot in 3D, making the Pang Brothers do all kinds of campy tricks. Fans of ghost films beware, let this one be...it's not worth conjuring up.

A group of six friends (three couples to be exact) find themselves at odds when their Thai vacation comes under fire by protests that shut down the airport. Thusly they are dropped off at a random hotel in the middle of the riots which just so happens to be haunted by one pissed off lady. Can the friends solve the mystery of forlorn woman before she takes them all into the realm of the dead?

It's very hard for me to describe to you, oh dear readers, the complete idiocy of this plot. It hurts my head to think about it because there are so many plot holes, useless characters, poorly developed subplots, and poorly crafted sequences that it would drive any sane person to see spots. Where to begin? Our protagonists (which randomly appear and disappear throughout the film) are paper thin excuses for real people whose couple problems seem asinine and their actions silly and unprovoked. This only deepens the stupidity of the main plot, where dog boys are real, - oh I shit you not, there is a boy with a dog face that is completely unexplained in this movie - ghosts have no real reason to be doing things, and the ways to solve our mystery just sort of happen instead of build up. The Pang Brothers were never "great" writers to begin with, but this feels like a money fodder movie that was written in 15 minutes to bank on the franchise and the 3D gimmick. It simply never makes any sense.

The Pang Brothers, however, still have a knack for creating some intriguing visuals. That doesn't mean that any of them have to make sense though. We get weird leaps into a strange 'netherworld' where vines creep on things, objects fly at the screen, and a finale that's easily taken from the scrapped ideas of "Re-Cycle". There are some legitly creepy visual moments like the dog boy and his sniffing, but the lacking build to these moments and complete disregard for logistics in them rarely makes any of them scary.

"The Eye" franchise had never lived up to its amazing first entry and "The Child's Eye" caps off with perhaps it's weakest entry yet, despite some solid ideas here and there. It's idiotic, poorly built, and the 3D moments out of the blue and gimmicky. There is not much to love about this film and its so sad to see the Pang Brothers release another piece of garbage when we've seen how good they can be.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man (1976) - 4/5

Ruggero Deodato will always be a name synonymous with the controversial classic "Cannibal Holocaust" and the urban exploitation shocker "House on the Edge of the Park." Few seem to remember that he has directed films beyond those two monstrous efforts and a few commendable films at that. One of his good films prior to his gruesome twosome is the Poliziotteschi action police thriller "Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man."

What we have here is two young police officers that that seem just deranged as the criminals they are chasing. They live and breathe their job, sharing an apartment, ridding bitch to work on a motorcycle and even screwing the same women. What makes them just as deranged is that they brutally kill and maim criminals, breaking their necks after wrecks and even killing the scoundrels before they even commit a crime! Their boss doesn't agree with their methods but likes the results and must come to their rescue as they take on the biggest crime lord in town.

The action is fast and furious as we open with an absolute astonishing motorcycle chase in the busy streets of Rome with no permits. Typical in Deodato fashion the violence is also upped compared to the typical entry into the Poliziotteschi genre, which is hard to believe as it is a monumentally violent genre to begin with. We get goons riding over blind men's seeing eye dogs and even eyes gouged out. However these villains are so nasty they deserve to die horrible deaths.

Our two queer cops are captivating anti-heroes. Mixing their amoral attitude towards human life with their homosexual undertones of their partner relationship makes them really engaging and perfectly played by young Italian hotshots Marc Porel ("Don't Torture a Duckling") and Ray Lovelock ("Murder-Rock: Dancing Death"). Ex-Bond villian Adolfo Celi ("Thunderball") is surprisingly underplayed as their boss and I do wish his character was a little more fleshed out.

Famous Italian filmmaker Fernado Di Leo, popular for his Poliziotteschi "Milieu" Trilogy ("Caliber 9", "The Italian Connection", "The Boss"), pens the script. His "Milieu" Trilogy is the "Man With No Name" trilogy of the Poliziotteschi film genre but I always felt his directing style was subdued. In comes Ruggero Deodato who spices up his script with oodles of style, marvelous camera angles and utmost violence. Ruggero never makes a moment of "Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man" boring to look at.

Mixing the impressive talents of screenwriter Fernando Di Leo and director Ruggero Deatato makes for a visually stunning, thrilling and violent Poliziotteschi cop film. A few flaws get my goat, like their rather lifeless boss and awful freeze-frame ending, but overall one of the must see films of the genre and easily one of Deatato's best films of his career. I waited patiently years for this classic to reach stateside and patience finally paid when Raro, an Italian DVD company, decided to give the film an American release, despite the release date getting pushed back three separate times! It was well worth the wait.

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Superman II - The Richard Donner Cut (2006) - 3.5/5

Decades before the whole "Exorcist" prequel ordeal, "Superman II" had the most tumultuous production of any Hollywood sequel in which original director Richard Donner was fired and replaced by director Richard Lester after having shot nearly 3/4 of the picture. Due to popular demand by fans Warner Bros. went back to the vaults, dug out and dusted off all of the footage Richard Donner shot and with the director overseeing, re-edited his original vision of "Superman II" as close as they could get with the materials provided. This edit was highly praised but I always question the opinions of die-hard fans. Sometimes due to the fact versions are more rare and/or controversial, fandom often blinds people into automatically assuming the rarer version is better. That and for the fact I was a fan of the Richard Lester's theatrical version of "Superman II". Now, after finally viewing Donner's cut I can honestly say that I prefer the Donner version by a small hair over Lester's theatrical counter part... but not without many reservations.

This new cut contains roughly 83 percent of footage originally shot by Donner with the rest being footage shot by Lester after Donner's firing which was only included in order to have plot fluidity. Much of this footage of Donner is first takes so many of the sequences tend to be overlong and the character development tends to be flawed... however if Donner had continued on with the film he would of done re-shoots of many key sequences and been involved with the final editing sequence which couldn't be accomplished with the compiling of this restored version.

There are also some scenes reused from the original "Superman", most notably the ridiculous scene where Superman turns back time by spinning the Earth in reverse. Apparently this resolution was intended for "Superman II" with an open-ended ending to the original film but the Salkind producers chose not to end the original with a cliffhanger. Due to this Donner wrote in Lois'death in which the 'turn time back' resolution would be used so seeing the sequence again in this version makes it a little redundant.

This cut also has plenty of plot holes and leaps of logic that even the Man of Steel can't fix. As this cut stands right now, Luthor would be in the Fortress of Solitude when Superman destroys it. Also Superman's revenge against a dinner asshole makes no sense as it occurs after the 'turn back time' sequence hence negating the whole confrontation. These of course are just the major plot holes that tend to irk me just a bit.

What I do like about this cut more than Lester's theatrical vision is Donner's understanding of the Superman universe. Lester's version introduced absurd powers that Superman never had before, most notably the asinine 'kiss of forgetfulness'. He also added a hair too much silly comic relief that clashed against the tone of Donner's original film, most notably the buffoonery during the final fight sequence, a town full of people with British accents and General Zod's introduction to the world. Donner's version is much more serious without the over-abundance of slapstick shit.

The reappearance of Marlon Brando is also worth noting. These scenes were left on the cutting room floor as Brando demanded a higher paycheck to appear in the sequel in which the producers were not willing to pay. Even if he was overpriced it's nice to see him back in the film.

Donner's version has plot hole issues abound and lacks the finesse of a final film product thanks to abrupt scene transitions, redundant scenes and all around rough edges but if Donner would have been able to finish his vision I have no doubt it would have ended up better than Lester's theatrical version. Donner's version is just more true to the Superman lore without the overly comedic overtones. Overall this ends up being a great curiosity piece of what 'could-have-been' and a must see for fans, but I am glad that the Lester version still exists as I do prefer the polished final film product of that version.

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Eight Diagram Pole Fighter, The (1983)

Director: Lau Kar Leung
Notable Cast: Gordon Liu, Alexander Fu Sheng, Lau Kar Wing, Lau Kar Leung, Lily Li, Hsiao Ho
Also Known As: Invincible Pole Fighter 

The substantial amount of ass-whipping and tooth removal delivered in The Eight Diagram Pole Fighter is astounding. Even though the film falters on some of it's storytelling aspects, Lau Kar Leung packs in the action, filling this film to the brim with staff battles and an epic tale of betrayal and revenge (is there any other in Shaw Brothers' films?). This leaves a film that's not perfect, but certain to please martial arts' fans with classic sequences.

The Yang family has been betrayed. At a recent battle, the devious Pan Mei set up the seven siblings and their father straight into an ambush that leaves all by two of the loyal staff-wielding sons dead or captured. With sixth brother (Alexander Fu Sheng) slightly demented and unable to grasp the reality of the situation, fifth brother (Gordon Liu) must plot to unearth the traitor and devise the right time to come back and restore his family's name.

Ju-On: The Grudge (2003) - 4.5/5

There is very little that scares me. A few films earn their merit with suspense, but true scares? It's rare. Not unless you're talking about "Ju-On". This movie, whole-heartedly, creeps me the fuck out. The artistic style of the film with its leaping and weaving plot structure, the scant and effective score, the sound effects, the realistic acting...it all builds to one of the best ghost films out there and one that, to this day, I will not watch late at night.

Rika (Okina) is a volunteer social worker who is assigned to help a young family with their ailing mother. When she arrives at the house though, the married couple is nowhere to be found and she stumbles upon an unusual situation. A situation where she begins to see a ghostly young boy and a creaking woman who seems intent on hunting her down...

A culmination of popular made-for-TV short stories, "Ju-On" was crafted from bits and pieces of semi-related stories from director Shimizu. His ability to work the low-budget with artistic finesse and atmospheric build makes the weaving story and characters work to its benefit. It creates a memorable way of telling the tale as we watch the fates of numerous people interlock at the hands of this 'curse' and the two ghostly figures that gobble up lives whole. Although at times the time-jumping (and foresight in one case) may seem a bit sporadic, a few repeated viewings help one to piece together the rather scat clues to what happened and is happening. It's an artistic take on the haunted house film that really works in many ways, even if it seems a bit overwhelming in its simplicity at first.

"Ju-On" also succeeds in crafting some legitly scary moments with relatively nothing. Shimizu loves to manipulate tension with false builds and subtle shock moments that rarely use sound to give the audience the jump scare. The effective scoring and sound effects (the woman's croaking and snapping bone sounds are insanely nerve warping) add to the clever shots and the film's almost impressive lack of blood and gore makes the moments where they do appear so much more impactful. Even the relative simplicity and normalcy of the settings work in the benefit of the film's scare tactics.

Occasionally, the low budget does hurt the film (with some shadow effects coming off as poor) and the acting can be hit or miss in moments, but the general effectiveness of its storytelling techniques and tension scares overwrites so many of the flaws that they are hardly noticeable. This is the reason a rather simple film like "Ju-On" spawned so many sequels and remakes...it works what it has so well that one misses what the film falters at. An impressive way to present a ghost film.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

I Am Number Four (2011) - 2/5

After seeing the trailer for "I Am Number Four" and the massive campaign to bring in the "Twilight" fanbase into this film, I simply had to see it. Call it gluttony for pain. Call it stupidity Call it a waste of time, but a silly romantic teen film set to the background of an alien war being fought on Earth in secret sounds like CW trash that has to be talked about. Particularly when Michael Bay produces. Thusly, "I Am Number Four" was requested for the site by one of our readers and I had the (dis)pleasure of watching this entertaining, but completely question ridden film.

John (Pettyfer) and his guardian Henri (Olyphant) are alien warriors who escaped to Earth from the Mogs, a vicious sharp toothed, gun toting race hell bent on killing all of the nine escaped Loriens like John. They have already killed three of the young super warriors and John seems to be number four on the list. When they catch up to him in Ohio, he might have to stay and fight instead of flee to protect his new found love (Agron).

The 'teens in love with extraordinary circumstances' might be silly to those not in that time of their life, but its hard to say that "I Am Number Four" didn't pull the best talent to make it work. Writers from "Smallville" and "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" craft the film and the stylistic way the film uses the script very much reminds one of those two television series and director DJ Caruso seems to handle the massive amount of cheesy moments and CGI special effects with relative ease. The young heart-throbs that grace the cast (no...not Tim Olyphant) are enough to make any readers of Tiger Beat magazine swoon. In these ways, its hard to argue that "I Am Number Four" doesn't do what it intended to do.

The problem is that, despite some valiant efforts, the film ultimately makes little sense and sincerely feels shallow. The chemistry of our cast is rarely seen (particularly between our two romantic leads), the subplots of high school rivalries and friendships aren't built enough, and many of the science fiction elements seem to come out of left field. A sudden relevance to a mysterious dog with massive CGI consequences seems completely random and the appearance of Number Six at the end (which was an obvious attempt at adding in more action and the threading of a franchise) leads to some great battles, but makes absolutely no sense. These odd science fiction moments are fun, but completely asinine. Not something fans of the genre want to see.

At the end of the film, Micheal Bay's aura is certainly felt on the film with its high octane action (that is a load of fun) and rather inept plot structures. It's certain to please those that love that teeny surface level quirkiness, but for the rest of us it's a rather interesting concept wasted on Hollywood fodder.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning (2004) - 2/5

If you follow Blood Brothers regularly then you know how we feel about prequels. If you don't, here's a recap: we already know how it ends, so it better be clever. Thusly I wasn't necessarily looking forward to this third "Ginger Snaps" entry despite my love of the first two. Many of my suspicions of the film were correct, as it seemingly just feels like a historically set first version of the film that tries to incorporate new elements into the tale of the werewolf terrorized sisters' lives, but rarely makes enough sense to legitimize it as a solid enough entry.

Ginger (Isabelle) and Brigitte (Perkins) are two sisters lost in the Canadian wilderness when their parents are killed in an accident. The 19th century woodlands is no place for two young woman and their luck turns when they stumble upon a trading post. Their luck seems thin though as they discover that the post has been repeatedly attacked by werewolves. The few survivors are suspicious of the two girls and when Ginger is bitten by a mysterious boy locked in the cellar...the two sisters may find themselves fighting off wolves on the outside and the inside.

Despite the modernity of their names, our two sisters are just antecendants of the protagonists in the original two films. Don't ask me how the bloodline works or even its relevance, because the film seems to want to skip over that too. Basically, besides the names and actresses, this is a film that could have stood out on its own as a werewolf film instead of one in this franchise. To my disappointment, it lacks the Cronenbergian "physical horror as symbolism for psychological horror" elements and more or less focuses on just being a straight up werewolf film in a timeline context. Not something one looks for in a "Ginger Snaps" film.

Even though it lacks the smarts and charisma of its two predecessors, "Ginger Snaps Back" holds its own as a werewolf film. The special effects are well done (sans the oddly misshapen half wolf boy that never explains why he is only half wolf) and the acting is decent enough to get one through the film. The plot tends to run into a ton of plot holes just in its progressions with the basics ignoring many questions left burning like why do leeches become monsters with the blood or why are the werewolves only prone to attack sporadically if one can claw through the wooden wall so easily. It's these basic plot holes and poor character builds, particularly withe the supporting cast, that leave one scratching their head in bewilderment rather than just enjoying the film for its good merits and rather interesting aspects like the Native American elements.

Is "Ginger Snaps Back" fun? Yeah, its still a blast to watch our two leads battle through werewolves and crazy people as always and, of course, the special effects are solid. Is it even as good as its previous two entries? Not even close. It lacks the smart clever writing and many of the solid acting performances. It feels more like a regular werewolf film than the smartly written and twisty tales that the first two represent. It's fun, but rarely more than that.

BONUS RANT: I also really despise the subtitle to this film. "Ginger Snaps Back" is kind of clever in its own way indicating the prequel nature of the film, but utilizing the word play that made it a great title for the first one. Why throw "The Beginning" on there? The audience are not idiots and we don't need to be told twice that its a prequel. Yeesh.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Little Big Soldier (2011) - 4/5

Jackie Chan's career has taken some unusual turns through the years. Stuntman, comedian, action star, Chinese films, American films...the list is extensive. His latest kick (now that he has been getting up there in age) is that of a more dramatic turn. "The Shinjuku Incident" played off with an almost "Scarface" like tale and his latest, "Little Big Soldier", combines his many faces into one film. Comedy, action, and drama all make this historically set film on that Chan fans will instantly love.

A grizzled and weary soldier (Jackie Chan) has to stay alive as all of China begins to boil over with warlords intent on unifying the country under their flag. This is why he fakes his death at a massive battle between two of these warlords. To his luck, he finds a wounded general of the enemy army (Leehom Wang) and decides to take him prisoner to earn a few acres of land for the capture. All he has to do is get him back without losing him first, which might prove more difficult with an unruly land full of enemies to go through.

At first glance, this rather slow paced and character driven tale is one of lackluster pacing and subtle dialogue. My initial reaction was disappointment at the lacking action and comedy compared to the dramatic storytelling. After a few days though, I kicked the film back in with new expectations and realized how well the film plays out in execution. It's not perfect, but it's certainly a film that grows on you.

Chan and his co-star Wang have a chemistry that really makes the film work. Even though "Little Big Soldier" throws in enough action sequences to keep those older Chan fans interested (including a fantastic fight between the two leads in a barn over the possession of a sword) and enough of Chan's distinct goofy humor for those who loved to be entertained (like seeing Chan ride a buffalo through a wall or hearing him sing about what he is going to do with his land when he gets it), the film strives for the heart and soul of the two leads' character arcs. The film nails it. By the end of the film, we have grown so attached to these two and their growth as characters that its hard to let go. An indication that this film easily accomplishes what it needs to dramatically.

As I mentioned though, the film is rather slow paced. It's very subtle with its first half, taking its sweet time to build itself with our two characters and one has to pay extra speial attention to the details to make sure that the few twists at the end are worth their weight in the punch. That's why it took two viewings for me to appreciate the film.

"Little Big Soldier" does tell this tale in fine fashion, only truly hindered by some unfinished subplots, like a woman who leaves them in the house only to mysteriously show up at artistic times, and some poor computer generated effects. Otherwise, it's a must see Jackie Chan film that ably blends all of the sides we have seen of this charismatic actor through the years.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Weekend Murders, The (1970) - 3.5/5

Giallo (noun, plural gialli): is an Italian 20th century genre of literature and film, which in Italian indicates crime fiction and murder mysteries including elements of horror fiction and eroticism.

Agatha Christie: Pioneering British crime writer specializing in murder mysteries.

"The Weekend Murders" is a unique Giallo as not only does it include essential ingredients of the lovable Italian genre but also elements of Agatha Christie murder mysteries. As you can tell from the definitions above they are much alike and it's amazing that a film in the genre didn't include popular Christie facets before as "Weekend Murders" blends them together wonderfully.

A children of a wealthy Baron gather at his large rural mansion to witness the reading of his will. When a sole child receives all of his wealth, the others don't take too kindly and soon family members and local staff begin dying off one by one. A local buffoon cop and a big city detective have their work cut out for them as they try to unravel the mystery as people begin to drop dead at their feet.

The plot is a takeoff of Agatha Christie's "Ten Little Indians" and with a plot containing so many characters, they all need to be odd and unique and the script and casting ensure of that. The highlight is Eric Pollard (popular for the English television show "Emmerdale Farm") as a pervy adolescent with overbearing mother problems.

Director Michele Lupo, a veteran of popular spaghetti westerns, notably "Arizona Colt", takes his first stab at the rising Giallo genre and nails the feel of an Agatha Christie novel. Even with the little twist on the typical Giallo plot he still manages to include many of the genre's expected eccentricities, notably eroticism and stylistic camera work. Michele Lupo also brings with him composer Francesco De Masi , another veteran of Spaghetti Westerns, to provide a beautiful score to drape the film in

In a surprising turn, Lupo injects many moments of comic relief, an element rather foreign to the Giallo genre. I applaud him for this inclusion as I did find myself chuckle on more than one occasion mostly surrounding our bumbling bicycle cop that ends up doing a more competent job of the multiple murder investigation than his big city counterpart.

Diehard fans of Gialli may be a little disappointed that "The Weekend Murders" is not a typical entry into the genre. This is actually what I respect the film most for... trying something different. It may not have a shadowy figure running around murdering scantily clad women with a knife clutched in gloved hands but it's still thick with colorful characters, eye-catching directing and an alluring score. If you're sick of the typical Giallo then I highly recommend trying out "The Weekend Murders" but be quick about it as the Code Red DVD is currently out-of-print and the film will be a bitch to hunt down once retailers run out of stock.

Written By Eric Reifschneider