Special Cop in Action, A - 3.5/5

After gaining popularity in Italy with his portrayal of Inspector Betti in the poliziotteschi thriller "Violent Rome", star Maurizio Merli reteams with director Marino Girolami for this sequel, the second in the Inspector Betti Trilogy.

Eagle eyed viewers will notice a problem right away before even seeing the film considering the ending to "Violent Rome." If you haven't seen the previous film then please skip the rest of this paragraph. "Rome" ends with Merli getting shot in the back with a machine gun yet miraculously he survives unscathed for this sequel with no explanation. He also resigned from the police force to join a vigilante group yet here he is back on the force, no questions asked. Yes this sequel suffers from MANY continuity issues. There is NO references to the previous events of the last film so if you take that plus the blatant disregards for continuity then one pretty much has a completely different film that's only connection is that they both have a cop named Betti played by the same actor. Grr... continuity issues chap my ass.

Well this time Inspector Betti has to locate some thugs that have kidnapped a busload of children to use as ransom. After investigating and bitch slapping his way to answers, Merli is able to connect the thugs to a crime boss played by John Saxon. Saxon sets Betti up and which sends him to prison but Betti gets out on a technicality and sets out for vigilante revenge.

The plot is definitely less focused and standard poliziotteschi affair when compared to the first film. It just lacks that harder edge that Girolami was able to craft in Violent Rome resulting in this sequel being not as good and definitely the weakest of the trilogy.

To make up for the more standard plot the writers and director load up the film with plenty of action including car and roof top chases. They even give some new scenery by having some of the plot take place in rural farm areas as opposed the urban city. Most importantly we fans are given the introduction to the Merli bitch-slap as he slaps a thug to kingdom come for answers.

Poliziottechi fans will find plenty to like but this sequel isn't quite as good as it's predecessor. It's got enough action and bitch-slappin' to keep genre fans grinnin' but sadly I did expect just a hair more from it. Thankfully the next entry "Violent Naples" fills in the voids left open by this one.

Like the first film "A Special Cop in Action" is harder than hell to find in any format, VHS or DVD. Again I have to give a big thanks out to my friend Bill who can locate any rare obscure film. THANKS BILL!

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Violent Rome - 4/5

Maurizio Merli exploded onto the Italian cinema scene with this Poliziotteschi thriller, the first of a trilogy of films where he portrayed the character Inspector Betti. "Violent Rome" is the direct result of the huge success of the Franco Nero action thriller "High Crime" which was basically Italy mimicking the vigilante cop American films "The French Connection" and "Dirty Harry". The result is one of this cult Italian genre's most defining films which is EXTREMELY hard to find in an English friendly version.

After witnessing the results of a violent bus robbery where a young man was pointlessly murdered, Inspector Betti decides to get harsher on the criminals bringing Rome to its knees. After a hair raising car chase in which Betti killed a thug in cold blood (due to the thug gunning down his partner and a trio of helpless children), he resigns from the police force and joins a group of high class vigilantes made of up citizens who have had their lives ruined by criminals.

Many can criticize this film for being pro-vigilante as all the criminals in this film are portrayed as evil as possible. I mean these goons gun down helpless children, throw mothers from moving cars and rape daughters in front of fathers being forced to watch. Yes all these harsh crimes strongly put the audience on the side of the vigilantes but then again you can blame even more popular American films for using the same technique. I just simply have to say if your offended by films showing vigilantes taking out the trash then don't watch films with these plot elements.

I can't praise Maurizio Merli enough for his portrayal of Inspector Betti. Sure his career began solely for the fact he looks a hell-of-a lot like Franco Nero but he's much more than a Nero clone. He is mesmerizing as the confident, action orientated police officer and he oozes machoism off the screen. He is truly great with the anti-hero elements I love and he made a career of playing similar cop characters in numerous poliziotteschi films to come including Violent Rome's two sequels "A Special Cop in Action" and "Violent Naples".

Violent Rome lives up to its name as it is VERY violent and the action is just furious. The car chase is hands down one of the best I have ever witnessed and it's a damn shame that these rarer Italian films never get credit whereas their American counterparts like "The French Connection" take all the credit. Marino Girolami heightens the action scenes with his visceral realistic style by throwing the camera in the middle of the action. Mix this with an amazing acid rock/jazz influenced score and you have an action thrill ride from beginning to end.

Sure "Violent Rome" is one sided in its viewpoint on crime (and it has a head scratching ending) but that's what makes these 70's crime thrillers so fun. This is a "Dirty Harry" clone at its best and one of the main highlights of the poliziotteschi genre. For the life of me I can't figure out why this is so hard to find in an English friendly version. Sure it's released on DVD in Europe but only in Italian with NO English subtitles. I have to give a big thanks out to my friend Bill for locating me a copy with nice English subtitles. THANKS BILL!

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Dracula: Dead And Loving It - 3.5/5

With how good "Robin Hood: Men In Tights" was at spoofing the entire use of that character through film history, when Mel Brooks decided to tackle the ever undead Dracula it should have been an easy A for everyone. Although it has a great time spoofing the long running character in the film, its not quite as clever at it as the Robin Hood parody and seems to drag at a couple moments rather than the laugh a minute sprinting we are used to getting from Brooks. "Dracula: Dead And Loving It" is a spirited film that simply nails some of its aspects, but dwindles at others giving us a rather good but mediocre film.

Dracula (Nielsen) has decided the dreary nature of his home castle is getting tired. Thusly he has decided to move to England! With the help of a realty agent Renfield (MacNicol) under his spell, he takes his undead act overseas. Now he finds himself under suspicion from his neighbors at the mental ward and they have brought in the open minded and brilliant Van Helsing (Brooks) to take care of their suddenly blood deprived women. Now Dracula has to play it safe or he's going to find himself staked!

Although the potential for rocking this spoof out of the ball park was immense, its hard not to be somewhat disappointed with it. With a character as significant and widely known as Dracula (thusly as spoof-able as possible), sometimes it feels as though they could have done more. There are scenes that are funny but seemingly not quite as funny as they COULD have been. Like Renfield's dinner with the head of the asylum. Or the mind zapped bellhop. Funny as is, but the potential seems so much greater for those scenes.

As is, "Dead And Loving It" is still fucking hilarious. With a perfectly cast group in their respective roles its hard not to be. Nielsen perfectly balances his seriously goofy side and plays it off as if nothing is an inside joke (the hair hat never ceases to be funny) and a particular nod has to go to MacNicol for an essentially perfect revival of Renfield. He's absolutely hilarious on screen and his timing is perfect. From his spider web entanglement to his his hunched over delirium to protect his master, he nails the role and makes this movie. Just thinking about him rolling over the sliding coffin on the ship makes me laugh out loud sitting here.

Despite stellar performances all around and a generally solid script debunking our love of Dracula, this Brooks film seemingly does fall short when it comes to great memorable moments. The dancing sequences are odd and the shadow gag worked a few times but seemed stretched thin. It's another solid film from one of my favorite comedians, but not quite one of his best. Mostly for fans of Dracula or of Brooks.

BONUS PRAISE: Jonathon (Weber) having to stake Lucy with Van Helsing (Brooks) does make up for a lot of the films flaws. That one scene is so damn funny and outrageous that it can keep the film afloat even if the rest was done seriously. Its essentially a perfect comedic bit in my opinion. 

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Up From the Depths - 1/5

With his "Jaws" rip-off "Piranha" being a surprise hit at the box office and no doubt being drunk off that success, producer Roger Corman decided to bank (with no on screen credit) another "Jaws" inspired water logged thriller for his Filipino partner-in-crime Cirio H. Santiago with "Up From the Depths". Unlike "Piranha", "Depths" doesn't have the luxury of having a talented up-and-coming director in the form of Joe Dante behind the camera resulting in an extremely poor man-eating fish picture that, unlike its predecessor, will NOT be remade anytime soon (unless of course you count the similar themed "Demon of Paradise" in 1987).

A sunny vacation spot in Hawaii (see Philippines substituting for Hawaii) comes under attack by a deep water man eating fish when currents shift bringing up deep water fish to the surface. Now it's up to swindler Sam Bottoms (what the hell is he doing in swill like this?) and his girlfriend to stop the man-eater before it makes the tide crimson with the blood of tourists, shutting down the local resort.

Cirio opts to only serve as producer for this log of brown trout and leaves the directing talents up to frequent Corman collaborator Charles B. Griffith who seems deeply confused on what manner to treat the material. In trying to mimic Joe Dante he tries to add some sly sardonic humor to the film no doubt knowing the plot is B movie drivel but like many others that try to mimic the great Dante inferno he fails miserably. Rarely, I do many VERY rarely the humor works (I do admit having Sam Bottoms screen credit appear over some jiggling hula girls butts was great). The humor just comes out very awkward. Take the resort manager for example... what the fuck is up with this guy? One of his employees comes in depressed one day and he has to gall to ask if she's pregnant. Funny? Maybe unintentionally but it mostly comes out just plain awkward.

Like "Jaws" the resort decides to give a $1000 reward to anyone who slays the beast. This damn monster fish ends up killing dozens of people. Who the hell is willing to die over a measly $1000? Oh and the beast is seemingly indestructible and has more lives than a god damn terminator.

The monster fish itself is a sight to behold for unintentional laughter. It's just a big slow moving brown piece of fiberglass. Yes it literally looks like a turd. I understand the effects team didn't have much to work with but these effects are just horrendous.

"Up From the Depths" is a FAR cry from the B-movie goodness that was "Piranha" but it will be special interest for fans of trash cinema from the 70s. It's got a big, shitty looking killer fish eating up dumb vacationers hungry for a buck. It fails at mixing sardonic humor with B-movie thrills but still hold enough entertainment value for the curious movie connoisseurs of obscure monster films. Released on DVD in a double feature with "Demon of Paradise".

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Wild Team, The - 1.5/5

Out of all the directors who's film product declined in the 80s, Umberto Lenzi had to be one that was hit the hardest. This guy directed some truly great Italian films in varying genres throughout the 60s and 70s. When the 80s came round he pumped out some hilarious yet fun trashy films like "Nightmare City" and "Cannibal Ferox" but after that we get stuck with films like "Bridge to Hell", "Black Demons" and of course "The Wild Team".

The Wild Team is a small group of mercenaries who are hired by a rich political leader to go into the jungles of the Philippines and rescue his kidnapped son. Predictably the rescue isn't as easy as planned.

Not much to say about this one. The characters are all dull and boring, the action is dull and boring despite hundreds of bullets being fired and Lenzi's direction is truly uninspired. Extremely bad dubbing is just more salt in the wound.

All I can praise this film for is that it's a Macaroni Combat film that doesn't take place during the Vietnam War or World War II so for that it was a breath of fresh air. The poster artwork is also appealing. I truly love poster artwork of 80s Macaroni Combat films with all their hand drawn and painted cheesiness. We get overtly exaggerated muscled soldiers firing machine guns and rocket launchers under eye catching taglines like "When you're going into hell it's a good thing your daddy is the devil..." and "Shoot first, ask questions... never". Sadly, like most of the other 80's Macaroni combat films, the cover artwork is much better than the actual film.

This Macaroni Combat film is extremely hard to find and rightfully so as it's not a good film, not even to laugh at unlike Lenzi's cult classic "Nightmare City". It took me two sittings to get through the damn thing. It was never released in the U.S. and the DVD transfer is taken from an obscure Japanese VHS with burnt in Asian subtitles. Even the most hardcore Lenzi fans will be disappointed with this one.

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Sartana's Here... Trade Your Pistol for a Coffin - 3.5/5

"It's a sandwich gun" - Sartana

Wha..wha..what?! A Sartana film without Gianni Garko? This can't be good. Well have no fear friends as yes Garko opted out of this fifth and final Sartana film (aka Fistful of Lead) into the official Pentalogy but filmmakers replaced him with a competent replacement in the form of actor George Hilton. Hell to be honest George Hilton is a much more popular actor in Italy than his predecessor but will he be able to pull off the role that inspired more official sequels than any other spaghetti western character? Well let's put on our shit kickers and see.

Sartana gets wind of a corrupt town official who is robbing stagecoaches transporting gold. He, with the help of his cunning wits and fast drawing hands solves the mystery while along the way trying to figure out how to beat his all time rival Sabbath.

Of course the first thing people are going to want to know is how Hilton does in the role. It is baffling why Garko passed on this film and with Hilton in the role it confuses a lot of people into thinking this is one of those many unofficial "sequels" that cashed-in on the name Sartana. Never-the-less Hilton does fine in the role staying true to the character while bringing his own little twists to the role, mostly more tongue-in-cheek humorous touches.

Giuliano Carnimeo, director of the previous three Sartana films, returns to direct this fifth entry and even with his experience of the franchise at the helm, this sequel lacks a lot of the flair seen in the previous entries. I doubt it was a stylistic choice and seems to be more of a budgetary one as this film just looks smaller scale and cheaper.

The writers also decide to make take a slightly more humorous approach with the subject matter (proved by my opening quote from the film) perhaps to tailor more to the new actor in the lead role. To me the more silly approach hindered the film as I just found it more puerile. The added humor isn't horrible, but it did make me hit my head a few times (again... read the opening quote).

Considering the change in the lead role this sequel doesn't come out bad at all but I can honestly say it is easily the weakest of the franchise. The lowered budget hinders the polished nature of the film and the added humor hindered some of my respect for the character. Considering all this it is still entertaining and Hilton proved he could easily handle taking over a popular role but sadly he wouldn't have an opportunity to tailor it more to his own as there would be no further official adventures of Sartana. Was it due to Spaghetti Western popularity starting to decline or did audience not react well to seeing a new actor in the role? It could be a number of combination of these things including that every other Italian western made at the time cashed in on the Sartana name (copyright laws are more lacked in Italy) confusing audiences on which films were truly part of the official series. Whatever reason Sartana didn't return, officially that is, making this the final chapter and in solid franchise. It sure was fun while it lasted.

Sartana will return.... in a shit load of cash-in unofficial "sequels". Reviews on those to come...

Light the Fuse... Sartana is Coming - 4/5

"See what he did? He's not human!" - Hired Gunman

A spaghetti western franchise going onto its fourth entry and still going strong? Not only is it still going strong but this is arguably the best sequel and even contender for best film in the franchise. How many "Part 4"s have that kind of reputation? None that I can think of off the top of my head and that's why the Sartana saga is going down in my book as one of the strongest franchises of all time as each entry is close if not surpassing the quality of the entry before, but then again I still have one more entry to go before this series comes to a close.

Sartana gets word from a friend in prison that he was wrongly accused and set up by some people for stealing a million dollars in gold. Sartana helps him out in typical games James Bond fashion breaks him out and heads to town to solve the mystery but not before being set up himself and figuring out clues in plot twists galore.

The plot can be a little tricky with all its twists and turns but it's not as convoluted as some of the sequels before but audiences need to know beforehand this isn't some lame brain western with a simple plot about revenge.

Giuliano Carnimeo has directed three of these films now and his flavor is still strong as ever with plenty of tongue-in-cheek humor mixed with rousing action sequences. A crowd pleaser that's for sure! Instead of having Sartana use magic tricks or throwing cards this time he has Sartana use weird mechanical contraptions including a windup toy with a gun but the mother of gadgets comes towards the end. Sartana being calm and cool sets up an organ in the middle of the street while hordes of angry gunmen coming down upon him. You see this isn't any ordinary organ... it's an organ from hell as each pipe is a rifle and in its belly is a Gatling gun that mows down this army like a blow torch through butter. Django eat your heart out! Ridiculous, you bet but it's one of the most memorable sequences in a spaghetti western you will ever have the pleasure of witnessing.

Sadly this would be star Gianni Garko's final portrayal as Sartana. Why did he leave the franchise? None of my research has shed light on the subject but director Giuliano Carnimeo forged on to make one more entry with actor George Hilton taking over the role. Even though it would be Garko's final portrayal he still puts everything he has into the role making Sartana cool as ever. A sequence where he uses a burning counterfeit bill to light his cigar sums up the total badass nature of this character (Did John Woo by chance see this film and copy the counterfeit cigarette lighting sequence for his spectacular Hong Kong crime picture "A Better Tomorrow"?).

Chock another wonderful film up to Sartana as it seems the franchise can do no wrong! Perhaps I'm speaking too soon as I have one more entry to go in the franchise and Garko stepping out of the role could be a bad omen but I'll just have to wait and see. I just have to ask why, oh why this series hasn't had proper DVD releases here in the states? The VideoAsia collection "Sartana: The Complete Saga" leaves a LOT to be desired when it comes to transfers but I guess it will have to suffice until a more reputable company will release them. Are you listening Wild East?

Sartana will return in "Sartana's Here... Trade Your Pistol for a Coffin"

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Die Hard With A Vengeance [Die Hard 3] - 4/5

Although it was easy to see that the film makers decided to take the easy route with "Die Hard 2" by making it a copy of the first film, its "Die Hard With A Vengeance" that truly hits on what made the original "Die Hard" such a great fucking watch. It does so in two ways: going back to the foundations and then building in new elements to make it its own film. It succeeds at both.

John McClane (Willis) is called out of his drunken stupor and suspension when a maniacal terrorist threatens to bomb public places in New York if McClane doesn't do what he asks. When our favorite asshole detective finds himself with an electrician Zeus (Jackson) helping him out in a fucked up game of Simon Says, he begins to wonder why go to all this trouble. What they discover seems to have significant connection to his past and may be a blind fold on everyone for a larger crime on hand.

Here's why "Die Hard With A Vengeance" works:

The Roots: This third entry goes back to what worked in the original "Die Hard". Our hero is back to being the ass of everyone's jokes and a flawed human being. He's hungover half the film and his life is falling apart. This makes him human and makes us sympathize. The film also blends the humor and the action better. McTiernan (who was brought back to direct this one since he did the first) seems to know how this works and none of it feels forced. Humor happens. It feels like it here. The action is top notch (although perhaps a bit TOO over the top even though seeing McClane shot out of a geyser is funny; its a bit out there) and the adrenaline kicking pacing as we watch our heroes try to make sense out of a bad situation is addicting.

The Twists: The film also adds in new elements that seamlessly blend with the roots so well that it seems like how it was supposed to be. We have the new 'partner' in the film. Jackson and Willis spark with insane chemistry on screen. Their banter and the general forced buddy cop element works to add new ways for our hero to struggle with the situation. Jackson gives substance to a rather thin role and makes their screen time a riot to watch. This film also takes the plot in more epic directions. Instead of just amping the action (which they did), they also amped the tension and urgency of their predicament. Making it a city wide threat (not just a building threat) and giving the villain (Jeremy Irons) a great foundation to build for his almost Bond like character.

Now "Die Hard With A Vengeance" isn't perfect. It's still almost too over the top with its action and the ending seems to be a little rushed, but overall this is the sequel they should have made with the second film. It strikes the foundations it should have and builds them in new ways. One of the best action films out there as far as I'm concerned and one that I find myself watching over and over again. Modern classic. 

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Have a Good Funeral, My Friend... Sartana Will Pay - 3.5/5

"I'll pray for yours..." - Sartana

The Sartana series is turning into a full blown franchise with this third entry (preceded by "If You Meet Sartana... Pray for Your Death" and "I Am Sartana... Your Angel of Death") and a great one at that. The more of these Sartana films I watch the more he is becoming my favorite Spaghetti Western anti-hero. Sorry "The Man with No Name" and "Django".... Sartana is cutting you guys down to size.

Well Sartana witnesses as brutal massacre, kills the bastards that cold heartedly massacred a family and decides to investigate into it. Why? Not sure... maybe he's just a nice guy? Well he finds out some shady business deals or going down for the murdered man's land and it's up to him to convince the man's daughter not to fall for their dirty deals.

The problem with this plot is it's becoming evermore convoluted and needlessly so. The second entry suffered from this to an extent but here it is full blown. For a basic simple plot the writers take many weird twists and turns and confuses the audience in the process. No drinking during this film if you want to get what's going on... hell you might even want to take notes.

Gianni Garko again returns as Sartana and by this, his third time, he has the role down pat. He could play this part in his sleep he's so damn good in it. Calm and cool as always, confident, great with the ladies and lethal as ever. I also enjoy the fact that his character doesn't shy away from talking like most other spaghetti western anti-heroes. Fans may notice that his appearance has changed a bit as gone is the five o'clock shadow and in its place is a longer mustache. The mustache isn't as badass or as intimidating as the gritty whiskers but I digress as actions speak louder than facial hair.

Director Giuliano Carnimeo again handles this sequel (the second he's directed in the series) well by giving it some well staged action sequence. My personal favorite is a coffin wagon chase. Along with the action is the return of the tongue-in-cheek humor, just enough to not be overbearing. Here he decides to do away with the "disappearing magic tricks" Sartana played in the second film and opts to have Sartana be deadly accurate by throwing playing cards. I'm not shitting you as he can knock guns out of hands and even throw cards into bibles at the exact Psalm he wants the villain to read. Silly... you bet but badass none-the-less. Gambit eat your heart out.

The films more convoluted plot and lack of interesting side characters (the returning grave digger from the original doesn't cut it) made me enjoy this sequel a hair less than the previous two but for a third entry this is a solid sequel and fans of the franchise should be very pleased with it.

Sartana will return in "Light the Fuse... Sartana is Coming"

Written By Eric Reifschneider

I Am Sartana... Your Angel of Death - 4/5

"The only queen I pull is the queen of spades" - Sartana

Though he created one of the genre's most enduring heroes in "If You Meet Sartana... Pray for Your Death", original director Gianfranco Parolini parted ways with the franchise to write and direct a similar film with a striking similar character in "Sabata." Why did he part ways from directing this sequel, the first of four to his glorious film? I'm not sure and none of my research has shown why but the series was picked up by director Giuliano Carnimeo who would go on to direct all four sequels. Was he good enough to fill Parolini's shoes? As you can tell from my rating he was more than enough and this first follow-up is a solid sequel in an extremely strong and enduring franchise.

The basic plot simple but like many Spaghetti Westerns they like to complicate it a bit by throwing twists and turns throughout till the very end. We open with a bank robbery where a man dressed as Sartana kills and steals $1000. The real Sartana gets word of these and has to get to the bottom of it before bounty hunters kill him for the price on his head.

Gianni Garko returns again as our smooth protagonist Sartana who is up to his old James Bond schemes again as he plays the "whodunit" game to get to the bottom of the robbery. Along with Garko he is surrounded by a strong cast of supporting actors including Klaus Kinski (returning from the original film but not playing the same character) and a compulsive gambler with a past connected to Sartana and Frank Wolff as a bum. Both of these quirky characters, despite their shaky writing connecting them to our protagonist, are an added element of fun that aids to the film.

Director Giuliano Carnimeo opts to go for a more crowd pleasing approach with this sequel by adding more action and humor making a bit more tongue in cheek in the process. To be honest I prefer the more serious brooding nature of the original but I still had a lot of fun with this new approach (ironically original director Gianfranco Parolini would even go further with the silliness with his film "Sabata"). One of these crowd pleasing elements includes having Sartana continually doing "magic tricks", like putting his gun under his hat while playing a pocker game and magically removing it to pull on somebody. Gimmicks like this would become a running gag in the series only further sequels would change it up a bit.

Though the original director didn't return "I Am Sartana... Your Angel of Death" (aka "Sartana: Angel of Death" and "Sartana the Gravedigger") still came out being an extremely entertaining sequel almost as good as the original (not enough to warrant a star deduction). It doesn't always hit the mark with its more tongue-in-cheek approach but fans of the genre will love it for its memorable sequences, badass protagonist and stylistic direction. In the hands of lesser filmmakers this could have turned out to be a dud thankfully Carnimeo makes it work marvelously.

Sartana will return in "Have a Good Funeral, My Friend... Sartana Will Pay"

Written By Eric Reifschneider