Mortal Kombat (2021)

Director: Simon McQuoid

Notable Cast: Lewis Tan, Jessica McNamee, Josh Lawson, Mehcad Brooks, Joe Taslim, Hiroyuki Sanada, Tadanobu Asano, Matilda Kimber, Laura Brent, Chin Han, Ludi Lin, Max Huang, Sisi Stringer, Mel Jarnson, Nathan Jones

 

Mortal Kombat has a rich history, whether people like to admit it or not. Not only from the ever-expanding series of games that ballooned to include all kinds of crazy shit from fighting tournaments to action-adventure platformers, but to the overall pop cultural impact that was left in the wake of its controversial birth. There have already been two live-action films, a handful of TV shows, and a few animated stories. This is IP with a lot of fans, a lot of skeptics, and a lot of expectations when it comes to a new live-action film being crafted with “the fans'' in mind. 

 

For 2021’s Mortal Kombat, produced by genre auteur turned populist icon James Wan and directed by Simon McQuoid of - let me check my notes - nothing, the key was finding a balance between everyone’s expectations. A relatively daft task, if we are all being honest with ourselves. Partner that with the insane combination of being one of the first major films to drop into theaters as they start to reopen in the wake of a still ongoing pandemic, and this film was already riding a very tight line even before its release. 

 

Re:Action - It's Time to Reboot Double Dragon

Go ahead, internet. Take your best shot. If there was ever a video game that needed a proper film treatment, it’s not fuckin’ Halo. That shit is already cinematic. Trying to punch that kind of epic storyline into a film that will appeal to the gamer community and non-gamer community is bound to crash and burn in only the grandest manner. So let’s look to another video game series that truly needs a proper film treatment: Double Dragon.

That’s okay, I can already hear a lot of groans and moans from the various people reading this. I know, I know. We’ve already had one Double Dragon film and it was terrible. Not even in a ‘so terrible, it’s awesome’ kind of terrible. It was straight up TERRIBLE. To that point, I will agree. The 90s family oriented Super Mario Bros meets 3 Ninjas is hard to defend in almost any regard. The film lacks any kind of truly inspired action and the attempted depth of its class war plot is hardly anything worth your time. So why don’t we just remember the lessons learned here and move on with our lives. Let’s take this game and give it a proper treatment.

No more of this, please.

The key for this reboot to work is that the initial audiences for the first Double Dragon film were the same individuals that played the game – kids. I was nine when the movie came out and my brother and I were stoked to see it. We were fans of the games and I remember renting Double Dragon II repeatedly from the local video store. So it was meant to appeal to that same audience and that’s how, in hindsight, it ended up being shit. Now those kids are adults. Take that rather simple beat n’ bash game and convert it into a film catered towards adults. Kids might not understand what Double Dragon is any more, so play it to the audience that does. It actually seems pretty legitimate if you think about it.

The core of the original Double Dragon game was damn near designed to be a martial arts/action flick. The story is simple and the action is relentless. This caters perfectly to the action film world. You can keep some undertones of political unrest or even throw in a bit of the mysticism that would show up in the game, (Fighting shadow doubles? I’ll fucking take that) but keep the film simple and focused. Take The Raid and blend it with a hint of The Purge: Anarchy. You could probably even take this film and make it ridiculously high quality for nothing in budget. Make it gritty, but keep it entertaining.

More of this, please.

With that kind of tone and concept, one could do a lot with the Double Dragon franchise tag. Build a nice little universe for it to exist in, populate it with gimmicky (but not cartoonish) characters, and let it develop itself. If you give it to a director who knows low budget action and how it works (my choice would be Isaac Florentine, but then again I’d like him to direct every martial arts action movie for US audiences) and throw in two charming stuntmen turned actors in the lead two roles and this is born to feed into its own fan base.

Truthfully, a rebooted Double Dragon franchise only makes sense. You can make it for cheap, cater to the audience that grew up with the game, and with a streamlined script it doesn’t even have to be complicated. Look at the success that Mortal Kombat: Legacy and Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist are having online. Maybe I’m just a starry-eyed action dreamer, but give me an adult oriented action film version of Double Dragon and I’ll be there in my Sunday best. 

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Do you think a Double Dragon reboot should happen? Who would you cast as your Billy and Jimmy Lee? Spit some blood below and let us know what you think!

Tekken 2: Kazuya's Revenge (2014)

Director: Wych Kaos

Notable Cast: Kane Kosugi, Gary Daniels, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Rade Serbedzija, Kelly Wenham, Paige Lindquist

When it comes to video game adaptations, fighting games seem to be the most popular to be translated over and, generally speaking, most of them suck. For my favorite fighting game franchise, Tekken, the first live action film was a massive let down. The cheese and terrible acting hindered a potentially fun and action packed film and lead me thinking that it killed any potential for a film franchise from one of my favorite game series. I was wrong. Out of the blue comes Tekken 2: Kazuya’s Revenge (also known as Tekken: A Man Called X – whatever the hell that means) and I was actually excited again. Kane Kosugi as Kazuya? Gary Daniels? A less is more kind of plot synopsis? I was stoked to see what they low budget actioner could bring to this franchise. As it turns out, this film is actually worse than the first one. Worse. Way worse. Enough that I have to say it’s the worst action film I’ve seen this year and that’s saying something.

Kazuya (Kosugi) wakes up in a hotel room. His memory is wiped and a police unit is after him…on top of that he’s “saved” by Rhona (Wenham) and taken to The Minister (Serbedzija). The Minister enlists his service as an assassin in the city, but Kazuya is just starting to unravel his past…to discover what his future holds.

I'd pretend to have amnesia too if I signed on to do this movie.

I’m guessing that this film wasn’t written to be a Tekken film initially. The premise of a man suffering from amnesia being used as an assassin isn’t all that original…and the way that Tekken 2 goes about using it is about as generic as possible. So what if they named a few of the characters after the game fighters? It’s still a very basic story. The terrible storytelling doesn’t sell the entire concept either. We are introduced to a pseudo-post apocalyptic world with ‘districts’ and…stuff. Kosugi is given an amnesiac assassin where he rarely is given much to get emotional over outside of some awkward flashbacks and an ill conceived romantic subplot that features one of the worst performances from an actress all year. He sort of wanders around confused and gets involved with other characters that we don’t give two shits about. Gary Daniels returns as his character Bryan Fury from the first Tekken, not that you would recognize him as he doesn’t even look like the same guy, and he shows up for a paycheck and disappears after a couple of minutes of worthless story. Even at its basic foundations, Tekken 2 is a terrible film: uninspired and lazy.

It’s not like every straight to DVD action flick needs a great story and great acting to pull off an entertaining film though. Most of them don’t. Even in the execution though, Tekken 2 feels utterly tired and insipid. Director Wych Kaos (whom you might know as the director of the eye-gouging bad Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever) has no idea how to pace the film or give it the depth needed to even begin to sell its terrible script. The fight choreography might be just a tad better than the first film, but the lacking action in the finale, the disappointing match between Daniels and Kosugi, and the super serious tone of the film make sure that none of the action is enjoyable. I didn’t even have fun during this movie.

He's fighting in a generic set with generic baddies. Yawn.

As an avid Tekken and action film fan, I can’t recommend Tekken 2 to ANYONE. At least the first film had the sad ability to be unintentionally entertaining with its ridiculous concepts and silly fight sequences. Tekken 2 is a sad excuse for an action film that has no character work, a nonsensical and poorly structured script, and action that has no meaning or depth. Even if you remotely liked the first film, I will just throw it out there to skip this one. It’s not worth the time or effort.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Bloodrayne - 1/5

Well. Let's see. Where do I start? Let's talk about "Bloodrayne". It's uh...well...ya see, this film...well...it's...just so incredibly fucking bad. Words cannot aptly describe the crap that emanates from your television screen when it's playing "Bloodrayne". There is just this...void where a film should be. With the cast in this film and the great story based on a killer video game as a leaping point, I mean, how could this film go so absolutely wrong?

Oh yeah. There I see it. It says it's directed by Uwe Boll on the credits. Yep. That's it.

Three vampire hunters (including Michael Madsen and Michelle Rodriguez) scour the country side during the Dark Ages to find if there is truth to a myth, that a cross bred vampire/human would help topple the very powerful vampire Kagan (Kingsley). They find their myth in the form of Rayne (Loken), a rather good hearted, but violent half breed being used as a freak in a traveling circus. When she slaughters half of her holders in a blood frenzy, she then takes to the road being chased by both the vampire hunters and the henchmen of Kagan.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. You mean you take the really awesome concept of the video game based in Nazi occupied World War II and you completely change it to a cheesy medieval setting? What?! Then you take the very cool character Rayne and dumb her down into a complete idiot? Double what?! Then you completely bastardize your own film? Triple fucking what?! This film is a just a mess from the get go with its awful plot, worse script, and horrid execution. It's a wonder that Boll was ever to get a cast like this.

My next point just happens to be about the cast too. All of this great cult actors are given horrible costumes, hilarious wigs/hairdos, and atrocious dialogue. Michael Madsen looks fucking ridiculous. Not to mention all of the half assed acting from everyone only makes the script look as horrible as it really is. No cover up here. Let's embrace this film for every awful piece of writing it has! Not to mention the fading in and out of the accents.

Uwe Boll is a genius though. Let that be know. This guy has the inane ability to take great video games with concepts and completely shits on them in film form. "Bloodrayne" is no exception. His awful directing is only made worse by the film's horrid editing and no matter how many fully nude prostitutes or random scenes of pointless gore once can put in it saves the film from being abysmal in any way.

I'm done with "Bloodrayne". This film is pretty much a disgrace to how the video game should have been put on the big screen. It's crap from its script, to the acting, to the directing, to the editing, and far beyond that. It's, honestly, one of the worst films I have ever had the displeasure of watching. That being said...let's move on the the sequel!

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Tekken - 2/5

As kids, my brother and I played the shit out of "Tekken 2" on the Playstation and to this day "Tekken" is my favorite fighting game series created. That being said, I was intrigued and scared shitless for the live action "Tekken" film that was made a few years ago and has yet to get proper distribution. Why is Anchor Bay taking so long in releasing this film in America? Oh yeah. It's probably because its not very good. Sigh.

Jin Kazama (Foo) has decided its time to strike. His mother Jun was killed in a raid made in the ghetto...I'm sorry, its called the Anvil here, and Jin is determined to enter the Iron Fist Tournament to get close to those responsible, Heihachi Mishima and his diabolical son Kazuya. To make it that far, Jin must fight through a slew of the worlds best hand to hand combatants in a contest to test his will against the two responsible. What Jin will find along the way is that not is all it seems in the Mishima family and his entanglement is greater than he imagined.

Compared to other films based on fighting games, "Tekken" is not as bad as "Street Fighter" but its not quite as good as "Mortal Kombat". It loves to ride the line of being potentially very awesome, but consistently never making the mark. Although they changed the storyline from the games significantly (where many of the later games actually played out like movies), the plot is rather intriguing. It has some great potential with its familial drama and its futuristic social commentary. Alas, it only remains as potential as the film plays through and the lack of focus and character build hinders any deeper meaning the film could have had. This is disappointing considering all of the things they could have done with this movie.  It's as if the director and writers couldn't quite shake all the cheese from "Tekken" and the film soon succumbs to it.

That being said, most of the film's problems do stem from its cheese factor. Despite some serious tones that the film strives to drive home (loyalty, the big picture of society), the film constantly feels like a film stuck between being a comic book and a basic kung fu movie. The art direction is horrible with its odd colors and cheesy sets (I love the fact that the area can change for each fight into different settings...) and although the fan of the games in me loved that the characters looked like they did in the games, it makes it feel rather cartoonish. And director Little does, as his name would indicate, little to counteract this. He uses horrible editing (very American with its quick cuts), too many flashbacks of cheesy training sequences, and odd direction with his actors to make the cheese factor worse. His obvious by the numbers directing just doesn't cut it as a serious science fiction inspired tale nor as a martial arts film.

Of course though, "Tekken" does have some redeemable moments. The fights are well staged with some very cool (if not cheesy) kung fun inspired moments like how Bryan Fury (played by underground badass Gary Daniels) is practically impervious to blows. The films does a solid job at building the fights and giving them a very game like look (although its pretty repetitive how Jin always wins by random occurrence) and it gives the film a fun feeling not unlike how Anderson built "Mortal Kombat" over a decade ago.

Other than being a fun and cheesy watch, "Tekken" pretty much is a failure. It's focused in all the wrong ways, the director seems clueless on how to build tension or character arcs, and the script is not well written. As much fun as it was to see all my favorite fighters in real life (Jin was one of my favorites as it turns out), "Tekken" is a disappointing film that never truly grasps the story and why the games have lasted so long. Only for fans and even for them, this is a warning.

BONUS RANT: It's obvious that they wanted to franchise this film with how it ends and its post credits scene, but with its lacking distribution and poor critical reception it might be more beneficial to wait for another "Street Fighter" film than another "Tekken" one.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

Director: Paul WS Anderson
Notable Cast: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Wentworth Miller, Shawn Roberts, Boris Kodjoe

Wherever you are, I want you to stand up and start clapping. That's right, just stand up from your computer and give Mr. Anderson a hand. Why, might you ask? Well, Mr. Paul "I Can't Write A Fucking Solid Script" Anderson has decided to push new boundaries.

Not fooling you? All right, I confess. That's not true. The only boundaries he is pushing are the ones in the wrong direction, making a film that is just as bad (or dare I say worse?) than Resident Evil: Apocalypse with the fourth installment of the franchise. That's right. One of my most hated films may have met its match. It's called Resident Evil: Afterlife.

Resident Evil (2002)

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Notable Cast: Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, Eric Mabius, James Purefoy, Martin Crewes, Colin Salmon

This review may come off as biased. Since I, for one, am a HUGE fan of the Resident Evil game franchise. Been playing it since the first one hit on the original Playstation. That being said, the first Resident Evil film is a whole bag of hit or miss. Despite being stylish without some charm along the way, this film is bogged down by poor storytelling, some poor acting moments, and a rather 'tries to hard' attitude. It does the occasional smart maneuver, but still falters too much to truly rise above its silly and poorly executed ideas.

Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li - 1/5

Man oh man. Seriously, if Capcom wanted to reboot the Street Fighter franchise they could have done better. It was a good choice in story (Chun-Li's story is a pretty straight forward one and would transfer to film well) but then they decided to change the story and as a fan of the series that just irks me. She's a professional pianist now instead of an Interpol agent? But that's just the tip of the iceburg on this one. There are plenty of things I disagree with on the story front including how Bison is portrayed and how the fight between Chun-Li and Vega lasts a whopping 30 seconds (that was a rivalry that was massively built upon and Vega is supposed to be this massive kick ass assassin whom is beaten fairly easily). It was a disappointment to fans of the series I'm sure.

I also thought that the fact that Klein and Bloodgood were essentially useless subplot. Yeah, it shows that Bison is being followed by police forces but their characters as shallow and the odd sexual tension between the two was rather poorly developed and displayed. Not to mention, that anytime they were onscreen I wanted to kick in my TV screen. Their characters and performances were just annoying. Plain and simple.

I was impressed with Kreuk though I must say. I can't say I've ever seen "Smallville" and I know many people were unable to see past her role from that, but as a person that has never seen that show I thought she was a good casting choice for Chun-Li. I just wish that her character was a bit more deep then it was. As a title character of the film, one would think she should be focused on a bit more and allowed to develop. But no. That doesn't happen. To top it off, she also has one of the worst voice over tracks I've seen since "Blade Runner". The narrator parts are just awful. Poorly scripted and for some reason they just stop about half way through the film. Good idea to keep the flow of the film going but just really poorly used I thought.

"The Legend Of Chun-Li" suffered from a lot of bad choices. The directing is pretty bottom of the barrel, the casting is very hit or miss, and the editing is pure shit. This film probably sounded good at the board meeting but once it went into actual production it feels as though they might as well forgot about it. There are far too many flaws with script, behind the scenes, and on camera. Yikes!! Even a boom mic makes an appearance in the film! This is 2009! That should never happen anymore in theatrically released films! Seriously this is one of the worst films of the year in my book. Some decent fights (not the one with Vega) and Robin Shou (in a comeback role since "Mortal Kombat!!!) couldn't save this sinking ship. Only watch for a good laugh. 

Written By Matt Reifschneider