Hidden (2009) - 4.5/5

Most of the films that come through the After Dark Horrorfest are massively hit or miss. Most of them are great ideas but rarely come through as executed in ways to match the concepts. This is not how "Hidden" accomplishes its successes. In fact, its story is so relatively simple with its twists and turns being done to death in the psychological Horror sub genre, that its a shock that this film didn't just fall under its own 'too smart for its own good' weight. Its the vision and execution on this rather basic script that make "Hidden" the intense and atmospheric watch it is.

Kai Koss (Joner), or KK as he is known to the people of his home town/area, is coming home 19 years after he ran away. His mother has just died and he has come to finish some business. His childhood memories have been suppressed for so long, since his mother terrorized and tortured him as a child, that when he comes back his sanity seems to be teetering on the edge of breaking. When he discovers that on the night of his escape another young boy went missing he desperately searches for answers on some hunches. To make matter more complicated people are starting to fall prey to an un-faced killer and he's looking more and more to be the suspect.

The heart of "Hidden", also known as "Skjult" outside of its release in the After Dark Horrorfest, comes from the chemistry that director Pål Øie has to spark from Kristoffer Joner (whom plays our lead) and the atmosphere of the film. Since Joner has to essentially carry the film with just his eye work and decent into madness (or is it truth?) acting due to the film's serious use of potent but sparse dialogue and minute secondary characters, its vital that the audience connects with him and he connects with atmosphere of the situation. He does. His collapse before our eyes is impactful. Although many of the supporting cast never reach near the chemistry that he exudes, its his work that truly carries this film.

It also helps that our director Pål Øie has a serious eye for subtle detail work and solid pacing to help it out. Although the film does feel a bit over long at times with so many red herrings and plot shifts that are obviously done to keep it more intense than realistic, it really works on the nerves of its audience nicely and uses its scenery and sets beautifully (the thick forest and run down house make for some nice scares in the dark).

By the end of the film, "Hidden" hits a lot of great successes in its time. The blurred lines of reality, sanity, and guilt make this film great for some artsy film discussion and the execution of the film is expertly done. Although at times it seems the story is a bit more cliche than it wants to be, "Hidden" pulls a lot of positive elements out of thin air. That, if there is anything great in film, is respectable at least. One of the best films that After Dark Horrorfest has released.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Trancers - 3/5

TRANCERS

Aka "Future Cop"

"Trancers" really deserves no more than 2 stars but I couldn't help it. It's such a damn entertaining B-movie that I had to bump it up a star. I mean come on, a film about a future cop named Jack Deth that travels back in time to 1985 Los Angeles to catch the leader of a psychic-like zombie cult? Sounds like one of the best B-movies ever made to me! Well maybe not, but it sure is a guilty pleasure

The film opens in a dark, "Blade Runner"-like future with a burnt-out Dekker like cop (Tim Thomerson, in his career defining role of Jack Deth) killing (excuse me, I believe the proper term is "singeing") Trancer scum. The council leaders in this bleak future announce to Jack Death that the leader of the zombie-like cult (named Whistler) has transferred his consciousness to an old relative in 1985 in order to kill off the council members ancestors, negating their existence in the future. Deth takes the mission and it's a fun man out element (or time) adventure as he convinces his ancestor's girlfriend (Helen Hunt, in her first major role) to help him to singe our scum leader before he goes back to a future that's only populated by Trancers. The plot is essentially Blade Runner meets Terminator with a hint of Scanners so one can't expect anything remotely original. Despite this is low budget, B-movie goodness that only the likes of Charles Band can make.

Tim Thomerson made a living playing secondary characters in major Hollywood films before meeting the likes of Band and thanks to their working relationship Thomerson will forever be a cult icon star for his memorable role as Jack Deth. Deth is just a lovable asshole with incredibly memorable one-liners such as "dry hair is for squids" and "I'm from another time, another world. I don't even know what you people eat for lunch." The dialogue about Cahuanga Boulevard is also classic.

Not only is Thomerson great but so is the rest of the seasoned cast. We get Thelma Hopkins and Art LaFleur not to mention Helen Hunt. I have to hand it to Band as he has a knack for discovering so rising young stars: Demi Moore in Parasite, Kelly Preston in Metalstorm and now Helen Hunt. All these good actors bring this likable B-movie up in quality.

Band's direction is adequate as usual but he always tends to be a much more prolific producer. His brother Albert Band offers up another great score. If I had to complain about one aspect (other than the short running time), it would be that there is no good explanation on what a Trancer really is. Whistler is the leader and it seems all he does is "trance" weak minded individuals which makes them turn yellow and go psycho. Is that it? They hardly seem like they are a total threat to humanity! Okay I have a few other things to bitch about and most have to do with plot holes, but more on that in the Bonus Rant section. The "long second" watch (which stretches 1 second into 10) also has a tendency to last what seems to be like 10 minutes instead!

Even with all its plot wholes and lack of a good explanation of what a Trancer really is, Trancers still comes out being one of the most entertaining B-movies I have ever seen. Many people think that the overrated Puppet Master film is Band's crowning achievement but my vote goes to Trancers and the creation of the loveable asshole Jack Deth. Band would even continue the adventures of Jack Deth with 5 sequels, 4 of which feature Tim Thomerson.

Bonus Rant (Spoiler): The biggest plot hole that bugs the shit out of me is the aspect of Jack Deth occupying the body of his ancestor and at the end of the film he decides to stay in the body. First of all that's really shitty to basically "kill" his ancestor like that but wouldn't that also change the events of the future and in turn negate his own existence? Then again him going back in time and taking over his ancestor's body ensures his birth later... oh shit... I'm getting myself confused again by thinking about time travel issues. I haven't had this much trouble accepting time travel themes since The Terminator!

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Navajo Joe - 3/5

The idea of Burt Reynolds playing an Native American is enough to make any person chuckle but don't let that odd casting element stop you from seeing this rather underrated spaghetti western. The film is directed by Sergio Corbucci, the same guy that brought us Django, Companeros, and of course The Great Silence, so you know all cannot be bad no matter what Burt Reynolds says in interviews.

Corbucci spaghetti westerns are known to be violent and Navajo Joe starts off in a grand violent way with a man shooting a beautiful Native women (i.e. an Italian heavily make-upped to look Native) and then scalping her! Apparently our rag tag group of shitheads are being paid by a local town for Native scalps. It burns their bacon when they arrive to only find that an award has been put on their heads. Apparently the town isn't happy that they have been killing and scalping women and children along with the male warriors. While in the town, our head goon is approached by the town's doctor to rob a train. All goes well until our title character, exacting revenge due to the death of his people, starts foiling our goons' plans and lots of bodies start piling up.

For a Corbucci film Navajo Joe is definitely not one of his best and out of all the Corbucci films I have seen it is probably my least favorite. Does that make it bad? Oh hell no as I still had a good time with Navajo Joe. The film has the typical violent action usually present in Corbucci outings as well as strong spousal relationships. The film also has higher production values than many other Corbucci outings thanks to hot shot producer Dino De Laurentiis providing the money bags but it overall doesn't have as strong of characters as films like Companeros or The Great Silence or the trashy entertainment value of Django.

Burt Reynolds, though oddly cast, is a good hero and he is very action oriented doing most of his own stunts. The film is also aided by a very catchy (perhaps too catchy) score provided by the great Ennio Morricone under the pseudonym Leo Nichols (Morricone used pseudonyms sometimes as he would be under contract to score another film while working on a different film at the same time).

Though not a great spaghetti western, it still is good and is actually rather underrated no doubt having a bad reputation from some Burt Reynolds interviews where he openly says Navjo Joe is the worst film he ever made. What? HARDLY! Go watch a majority of his "good 'ol boy" films to see BAD. Apparently he was under the impression that Sergio Leone was going to direct the film but when he realized Sergio Corbucci was a different guy, it was too late for him to pull out. In my humble opinion Corbucci is second in line for the best Spaghetti Western director (beyond Leone of course) and Reynolds has nothing to be embarrassed about here. It may not be Corbucci's best, but it's an entertaining spaghetti western to say the least.

Bonus Rant: Some of the dialogue was either poorly written or poorly translated. When a character says to his brother "done like a true half-breed" his brother then hits him, draws his gun and says "no one calls me a bastard!" But he didn't call you a bastard, he called you a halfbreed! Is he insinuating that all half-breeds are bastards? That's hasty generalization there buddy! I also got a chuckle when a guy fired his gun and another gang member said "don't waste your fire".... something definitely got lost in the translation there.

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Navajo Joe Trailer

Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

 Director: Russell Mulcahy

Notable Cast: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Oded Fehr, Iain Glen, Ashanti, Mike Epps, Spencer Locke

With the, let's say it nicely, poor execution with Apocalypse, the second film in the Resident Evil film franchise, low expectations were abound for the third and supposedly final (which we all know now to be bullshit) entry. Resident Evil: Extinction actually surpasses these expectations in many fun and odd ways creating a film that, I won't pull the wool over your eyes, is still bad, but far more enjoyable than the last film. Enough so, that even years later it holds its own as a unique and rather enjoyable experience that blends old school approaches with a modern spin.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Director: Alexander Witt
Notable Cast: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Oded Fehr, Thomas Kretschmann, Sophie Vavasseur, Jared Harris, Mike Epps, Raz Adoti, Sandrine Holt, Zack Ward

One of the few things that kept the original Resident Evil film afloat was its sleek and charming directing from Paul W.S. Anderson. What Resident Evil: Apocalypse is definitely missing is that charm. So what we have is a far worse film burdened by a poor script that neither has the pizazz nor the balls to actually do what needed to be done for this film to work.

Alice was taken by the Umbrella Corporation at the end of the first film. She wakes up only to find that the wonderfully quaint Raccoon City has now been overrun with the virus spreading its undead legions upon the world. Umbrella has quarantined the city in an attempt to contain the zombie horde and creations of their doing. With the help of some new friends (like Jill Valentine from the game), a couple of mercenaries, and a wheelchair bound scientist looking for his lost daughter. Working together they have to survive their predicament and get out of Raccoon City.

Countess Dracula - 2.5/5

After the success of The Vampire Lovers, Hammer knew they could make money by showing more female skin in their productions. The actress showing the most skin in the that film was actress Ingrid Pitt so they decided to give her body another go around with their next production Countess Dracula. The results of Countess Dracula however prove that just by showing more skin by far doesn't make a great film.

The film opens with an old queen bitch who is unhappy with the will reading at her husband's wake. While getting ready for a bath she bitch slaps a mad and when the mad's blood touches her skin, it proves to make her young again. She locks up her visiting daughter in order to be a stand in and all goes well until she reverts to her old age again, only uglier, after a few days. So she and her second in command start combing the village for virgins and he is willing until she falls in love with a younger man, then all hell breaks loose due to jealously.

Due to the title many people will expect to be a vampire film which it isn't. Many people actually mistakenly think this to be an entry into Hammer's Dracula franchise but again this isn't so. It's actually a version of the classic legend of Elizabeth Bethory so basically it's about an old hag who bathes in blood to look young. Here lies the problem as there isn't enough plot to make this worthy of an hour and a half and there's very little action to keep the film moving.

Another problem is Ingrid Pitt just isn't that strong of a n actress to carry a film. The Vampire Lovers had a lot more going on so it didn't really mostly on her shoulders and here she proves her body isn't enough to hold a film together.

The production values are also a shy compared to older, better Hammer outings and the studios declining popularity is very evident, despite the Studio desperately trying to stay afloat by adding nudity into their films.

Hammer fans will find something to like but this is a far cry from great Hammer material. It lacks the great actors of other Hammer outings as well as production values. It also lacks the likable exploitation elements of The Vampire Lovers making this an overall very disappointing effort from the studio. Perhaps Ingrid Pitt would have been better off doing the sequel to Vampire Lovers, Lust for a Vampire, instead of this? Hard to say...

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Countess Dracula Trailer

Substitute, The (2007) - 4.5/5

Does anyone remember Bruce Coville and his stellar young adult novels in the "My Teacher Is An Alien" series? I damn well do. One of the best books I read as a kid (I did prefer "Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher" though) and although its been years since I enjoyed my time with those 'classics', I did happen to come across a dainty little Danish Horror film that perfectly captures that same ideology of those books. Just more in an adult way.

Carl struggles with the loss of his mother. His classmates, although your average kids, don't really understand him and his father and younger sister are having enough of a tough time coping too. When his sixth grade teacher comes down with a sickness, he finds himself going head to head with the new substitute. Evidence starts to build for him and a few classmates that their teacher is from another world and despite their protests to their parents, they seem powerless. Now the children of 6B have to stop this evil alien teacher before her secret plans come to fruition.

"The Substitute" is a fun and quick paced little Horror film that's fit for the whole family. This is the kind of film that has been missing for some time, picking up in the tracks that classic 80s children lead films like "Monster Squad" and "The Goonies" left off, and giving a taste of that rather user friendly and fun time that those kinds of films succeeded at.

Its a wonderful change of pace to have a Horror film with no gore (and very little killing) that's carried by fun characters and solid acting. It's these young actors and great visual eye by director Bornedal that make the rather simple story such a treat to watch. Even our villain Ulla does a stunning and fun job at being both sinister and somewhat humorous without being too cheesy.

Some of the plot scenes and elements might come off as odd but its this unique and almost fantastical side of the film that adds to its charm. The silver ball that Ulla uses to accomplish certain tasks ("Phantasm" anyone?) or how she feeds on chickens make this film a ton of quirky joy to watch. The chicken feeding scene is remarkably hilarious in its own dark ways with its slapstick take on what could have been a rather disturbing moment.

Despite its fun and family friendly vibe, "The Substitute" does have some nice adult like moments too with his father's attempts to cope and some of the ideologies behind the film concerning empathy and love, but it never loses the balance of what sort of film it is. It scores a big recommendation from me in that sense.

"The Substitute" was a complete and utter surprise to me. It was fun. It was clever. It worked its family friendly vibes to the max without losing step on what the film was aiming for. This film was definitely worth the watch.

BONUS RANT: Turns out there is a plan to remake this film here in America. DAMMIT. Why can't Hollywood leave this great foreign films alone! 

Written By Matt Reifschneider

GoldenEye - 5/5

Despite the overall disregard for Dalton's era of Bond, the edgier and darker Bond seemed to have a liking to some critics and its obvious that when all the legal negotiations had ended (the time it took had Dalton dropping from the role and an entire new script written) that it still carried over to another 'revamp' for our beloved secret agent. Thusly, we have "GoldenEye", an amazing new take on Bond in a new world where the Cold War is done and new enemies have started to rise. This film updates the series almost perfectly and with a snazzy new Brosnan in the lead role, "GoldenEye" takes Bond to all new levels and becomes a highlight of the film series.

STORYLINE: The Cold War has ended now and Bond is starting to look a bit like a paranoid 'dinosaur' as the new M describes him. But dark pasts never stay hidden for long as there is an upheaval within the new Russian government that ends in the stealing of a secret EMP weapon codenamed 'GoldenEye'. Bond is thrust onto the case to discover whom has stolen the weapon, find it, and stop whatever dastardly plan they propose to use it for. With the help of a surviving computer programmer from the initial theft, Natalya, Bond is taken across various parts of the world only to discover that an old friend and new nemesis is behind the entire operation.

PLOT 5/5: The updated take on Bond for the 90s is well crafted and still remains Bond at its every moment. Retaining some of the darkness and cold of the Dalton era, mixing it with some of the more over the top action of the Moore era, and capping it with some of that intense espionage charm and intrigue of the Connery era, "GoldenEye" is a perfect combination of everything that makes Bond so much fun and exciting. Whether its the insane stunt work of watching Bond free fall into a plane from a motorcycle, watch a tank chase through the streets of Russia, or see Bond realistically fist fight with the villain this is an exciting Bond to top many of them. Add on its darker more spy like traits of political double crosses and even, dare I say, emotional moments for our hero and this one just balances perfectly. Director Martin Campbell knows his Bond and makes all of the suave and danger come off elegantly and ruthlessly throughout.

BOND 5/5: Brosnan's first appearance as the super spy is a solid one. If the plot was the perfect blend of previous films then this Bond is the perfect blend of all Bond's prior. He's dark and cynical at times but retains a solid dose of charm and wit to not make him too cold for the audience (as Dalton seemed to come across as). Brosnan captures the youth and vigor of the spy that all men want to be, but adds enough subtle character depth and emotional moments (his hesitation when he sees Janus for the first time for example) to not be a joke either. This is a Bond highlight for sure.

VILLAIN 5/5: There is just something special about Alec, aka 006, as the villain in this film. Although Bond has had personal connections to villains of the past, nothing can compare to the 'best friend' becoming a villain plot line here. It makes for a wonderful emotional journey for Bond and shows just how far he will go for country. They are practically equals playing for either side and it works out brilliantly. Sean Bean's performance as a borderline crazy, intelligent, fuck all kind of a villain works damn well too. This may, in fact, be my favorite Bond villain yet.

BOND GIRL 4/5: Although definitely the weak point of all the rated parts on the Bond franchise, Natalya, gets the job done and never screws it up. She works wonderfully with Bond on screen and her relevance to the plot makes her already heads above half the Bond women in the series. Although she can be a bit unpredictable at times as a character (her scene on the railroad tracks with Bond for example) it works in the overall scheme of the film. She's not perfect, but she never hinders the plot either.

"GoldenEye" just shakes and bakes the whole thing. Its practically perfect from most angles and the best (in my book) since "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" (even with my love for the Dalton era of Bond). It takes some risks with its modernization that all pay off (a female M works so damn well!) and yet makes the best of all Bond worlds mix into a batch of explosive fun spy moments. It's too bad the Brosnan era of Bond couldn't match its initial flight but "GoldenEye" is a must see for all Bond and action fans. 

Written By Matt Reifschneider

She Creature (2001) - 3/5

I remember seeing a preview for "She Creature" way back when on a film called "Earth Vs. The Spider" in 2001 done by the same company Creature Features. When the chance to watch this missed B-movie gem came along, I snatched it up like a fish on a hook and decided to watch this buried treasure. Surprisingly enough for a super low budget monster flick, "She Creature" actually stands fairly well on its own and throws down a damn good time. Its cheesy, but a lot better than it probably should have been.

Angus (Sewell) makes a living out of conning people in a side show in the early 1900s. His team of actors and special effects people (including his romantic leading lady Lily (Gugino)) come up with clever schemes and stories to frighten people out of their money. When a wily old man calls their 'mermaid' attraction bullshit and takes them to see a real one that he has locked in a tank at his house, Angus plans to kidnap the beautiful woman/fish and use her to make a pretty profit. On their ship to America though, the circus group and crew find themselves at the mercy of a creature far more deadly than she appears to be.

Although similar in title to the 1957 film "The She Creature", this film was dubbed a remake even though the plot is completely different. Its really its own thing that was tagged with a title some people might recognize, so don't expect a hypnotist making a monster out of a lady. Instead we get your standard monster flick done with a lot of heart and some talent in its sleeves.

For its low budget and rather odd premise, its surprising how well "She Creature" actually floats. With a shockingly solid cast (Sewell is a cult favorite of mine due to "Dark City") and a rather well paced story, this movie buzzes right along and makes a lot of use out of its low budget. Although many moments are far too cheesy (the red screens when people die at the hands of the mermaid for example) and many of its CGI and sets are obviously low budget, this film makes up a lot for it with some clever camera work and heart.

The creature that the mermaid morphs into at the end is pretty awesome too being one part Alien, one part "Species", and one part Zerg (that's a "Starcraft" reference folks...yeah, I'm a nerd) and changes the general atmosphere of the film from being a modern myth take to a straight up monster/slasher. Its a nice change of pace though and ends the film nicely.

Overall, I was just rather amused and pleased with how "She Creature" turned out. Its a fun and sometimes campy B-movie that could have definitely used more budget, but it makes due with what it has and tells a mighty fine tale. Mostly for Horror fans and a nice lazy Sunday movie.

BONUS RANT: Its pretty obvious from its ending that this film was set to kick off a low budget franchise. Unfortunately, this is no long the 80s and getting one of those off the ground takes a damn miracle. In fact, its original title was "Mermaid Chronicles Part 1: She Creature". Yeah, so that didn't pan out and we are left with an odd final scene that more than likely we will never know any more of. Thanks modern cinema.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Enter The Ninja - 2/5

Remember the 80's ninja craze? If you're a fan of 80's action then no doubt you are aware of the movement as there were what seems like hundreds of cheesy ninja films made from all over the world. This wonderful B-movie movement can be pin-pointed to one film, Cannon's 1981 release of Enter the Ninja.

This early Cannon production (no doubt referencing it's title to the Bruce Lee classic Enter the Dragon) stars unlikely Italian actor Franco Nero as a Westerner mastering the art of Nijutsu. After passing the training, he heads down to the Philippines to visit an old war buddy that sent a urgent message. It appears some rich snobs are sending goons to threaten him and his wife to sell their land due to a wealth of oil beneath it. Nero roughs them up so the goons get deadly and it becomes an all out ninja war between Nero and rival ninja Sho Kosugi.

This film is cheesy to the highest extent really making a mockery of the ninja legend. It just makes it that much more fun! All the ninja clichés that would become popular in pop culture are used to the fullest here - ninja stars to the head, smoke bomb, etc.

I remember when I first saw this film thinking "who the hell is this Franco Nero?". Far be it from me to realize he was one of Italy's biggest stars and I would later on own numerous of his classic Italian films. Even though I have learned to love Franco Nero as an actor, I still find it odd that he was casted in a role as an "American ninja" considering he was an Italian man pushing 40 that had NO training in martial arts. Still he does will with the B-movie material and I'm glad to see him in any film, even if his voice is badly dubbed.

Christopher George portrays the films lead villain and he does it way over-the-top. I had a hoot with his over-acting and he always brings a smile to me in all these cult films he appeared in the early 80's. (SPOILER: His death sequence was especially silly and he seems to look and the camera and shrug with a smirk on his face. END SPOILER). Sho Kosugi also makes his major film role debut as our evil ninja and Kosugi would make a career out of playing ninjas in numerous cheesy 80's action films, including two sequels to Enter the Ninja.

I went into this film expecting a cheesy B-action film so I can't too picky but Menahem Golan's direction is rather flat. I appreciate all the films he produced under the Cannon logo but he really needs to stick to producing as he just doesn't have a real flair behind the camera. His lackluster style and poor editing make the film drag in a few bits. I also didn't appreciate the short sequence where Franco Nero beds his best friends wife (cult icon Susan George). What kind of hero is this? He's a master of ninjustsu so he is highly disciplined yet he still fucks his best friend's girl!? That's just LOW!

If you're a fan of cheesy 80's action movies then Enter the Ninja is a must. It not only paved the way to a slew of cheesy Ninja movies to follow but it also marked one of the first entries into Cannon's foray into the cheesy action realm. Things would only get more outrageous and more entertaining in Cannon's two sequels: Revenge of the Ninja and Ninja III: The Domination.

For some damn reason MGM has NOT released Enter the Ninja on DVD despite releasing the films sequel Revenge of the Ninja. It just burns my bacon that I own Revenge on DVD and I'm still resorted to watching my old, wore-out VHS of Enter. It even makes me more mad that Enter is shown on MGM's HD channel in remastered glorious widescreen. Come on guys! Take that wonderful transfer, slap it on a disc and release it to us fans! Please take some time and sign my petition to get this film, as well as some other Cannon classics, to be released on DVD: http://www.petitiononline.com/cannon/petition.html

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Enter the Ninja Trailer