Here we go again. With the lackluster release of the highly underrated "On Her Majesty's Secret Service", EON productions decided: "Let's go back to what did best for fans and for money. Let's get back Connery and lets go back to what worked best. Let's copy Goldfinger." Thusly, we now have "Diamonds Are Forever" on our hands - a return to over the top, ridiculous plot points, a goofy take on the spy genre, and genrel odd tagents with well defined villain and hero lines. It's a return that works at times but more often than not feels like a flawed copy than a fresh new onlook for Bond.
PLOT: Bond gets Blofeld to start off the film as he attempts to make copies of himself. Of course, now that Blofeld has gotten his due for just generally being a pain in the ass - Bond is off to his next assignment. Follow a string of diamond smugglers. Exciting? Perhaps not normally so, but it leads Bond all the way from Holland to Las Vegas as he comes across lots of treachery, double identities, and another confrontation with his ultimate arch nemesis, a supposedly dead man.
STORYLINE 2/5: With an odd and quick ending to Blofeld in the opening sequence, this film just feels rushed overall. The plot takes Bond along diamond smugglers as they plan to make use of the diamonds to create a 'laser' that will...TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Yeah, its a little out there. And even more so, a simple idea of diamond smugglers, gets thrown into a lot of odd sets. Let's make a meeting at the CIRCUS?! Its as if, once again, the writers were just throwing in plot points just for the sake of making this film memorable and flashy. Vegas? The circus? Granted its not as bad as "You Only Live Twice", but it comes damn close. Its as if they wanted to grate my nerves.
BOND 2/5: Connery returns as Bond which normally would be a cause for celebration. But considering that Connery's take on the character is one that doesn't push any boundaries or really seem to care (it was one helluva paycheck though for a half assed job). It really does seem as if the writers weren't writing for the sake of character work and Connery didn't seem to even want to add any of his own work to keep it deep. It's kind of embarrassing really to a solid character who just had one of its best moments in the film prior.
VILLAIN 2/5: Well, they brought Blofeld back. As if he needed another ridiculous plot to help him out. It's not even SPECTRE anymore, but just him. Which kind of sucks really. Not to mention he is played by an actor that was already in a Bond film before as a good guy. You really couldn't get someone new?! What the hell! And after seeing Savalas play Blofeld there is no way you can match. It was just an odd choice and it doesn't really work out for me. Not to mention his henchmen, Mr Wint and Mr Kidd are jokes really. They could have been a vicious duo but they come across as just oddities instead. This is also frustrating.
BOND GIRL 1/5: Tiffany Case is annoying, 2 Dimensional, and quite repulsive as an actress. Her time on screen is wasted, the humor she brings is low brow (when she shot herself off the oil rig I wanted to cheer that she was dead...but alas, she was not), and her actually purpose to the plot is paper thin at best. That's all I have to say.
"Diamonds Are Forever" has it moments like the stellar fight scene on the elevator, but its over the top and cheerio old chap attitude as a follow up to the bleak and serious previous entry makes it feel far too shallow and under dressed for the occasion. It's fun but that's about it.
Written By Matt Reifschneider
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