Blood Runs Cold (2013)

Director: Sonny Laguna
Notable Cast: Hanna Oldenburg, Patrick Saxe, Elin Hugoson, Andreas Rylander

It was always a complaint of mine that not enough horror films take place during winter, particularly slasher films. It's a great 'gimmick' and it is not used enough. Somebody must be hearing my prayers because here comes "Blood Runs Cold" a smashing low budget slasher that homages the late 70s/early 80s style and does it with enough creative flair and tension to sell its often under scripted premise. Throwing back to the early style of Sam Raimi "Blood Runs Cold" is far from original, but the suffocating tension and intense slasher brutality is enough to cater to any old school horror fan.

Winona (Oldenburg) simply needs a break. She has become a successful artist in her own right, but she needs to dig back to her roots. Her manager rents an old house on the outskirts of the town she grew up in for her to escape and it seems like it might be the breather she needs. Even when she runs into an old boyfriend, everything seems to be going smoothly and when she invites him and his two friends over it seems like a great time. Until people start to disappear into the winter. Until Winona begins to wonder if the house was ever empty to begin with...

In a slasher film, putting your head up to the door is just asking to have your face stabbed.

So it's a slasher film and its pretty obvious that the script isn't going to pull many punches with its simplicity, but it's that same simplicity that allows writer/director Sonny Laguna to do some unique things. The dialogue is very basic and very limited throughout the film and I've read a few reviews that seem to think this is a bad thing. Occasionally, there feels like moments drag on a bit too long but I was more aware of the tension of the isolation of the setting that it creates. Nothing is more sinister than silence and Laguna uses that quite a bit here. The camera work is delightfully thoughtful with lots of angles and odd shots (think Raimi mixed with a little bit of early 80s Italian giallo at times) and Laguna slathers on the atmosphere using the house and the villain to maximum effect for its budget.

Oh yes, the budget does hinder the film at times. Although it creates an early 80s style to the film, the acting is, overall, pretty bad and the actors are definitely not quite fully comfortable in the English language (I guess they were really gunning for that American slasher feel). The special effects are remarkably well done considering the budget and in true slasher form, the film guns for a couple of great gory moments that seem fitting for this film and the intensity it has at times. I was definitely surprised at how they accomplished some great effects with editing (including a thrown ax that hits a pole next to one of our heroes) and despite the flaws I was definitely digging the potential talent buried in the film.

As simple as it is, the killer is actually quite effective in how he looks.

"Blood Runs Cold" is not original, nor is it going to be impress those critics out there who nit pick every little detail until the big picture is lost. The acting is bad, the budget hurts the film for sure, and it's a very simple plot for us to digest. Dammit, it's a slasher though. It's got gore, clever kills (who saw the machine gun coming? Not me.), and a very creepy villain with snow caked goggles and a weird hat that comes off a pretty memorable for how limited we were on details about him...which was more fun for the few subtle details we got at the end. It works in an homage sort of way. "Blood Runs Cold" is buried in thick atmosphere and killer slasher moments that showcase the potential for the people involved...specifically Laguna as a director. Slasher fans definitely need to take a stab with "Blood Runs Cold."

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Giveaway #1: Bloody Disgusting Selects - Blood Runs Cold Posters!

Blood brethren! It is a call to arms for the first ever Blood Brothers giveaway! We have partnered up with Bloody-Disgusting Selects to give away 3 awesome posters for their upcoming release of "Blood Runs Cold" in select theaters March 22nd!

All you have to do to enter is make sure you like the Blood Brothers Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/bloodbrothersreviews , share the status about this giveaway, and 3 randomly picked winners (US only entries, sorry folks!) will win themselves a sweet poster!

While you are at it, feel free to visit the Bloody Disgusting Selects page and purchase your tickets to see "Blood Runs Cold" at the link below. In particular, check out the Denver, CO showing and you just might meet Blood Brother Eric in person!

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/selects/buy-tickets/

So remember, it's a like and a share to be entered.

Stay Splattered,
Blood Brothers

Bangkok Revenge (2013)

Director: Jean-Marc Mineo
Notable Cast: John Foo, Caroline Ducey, Michael Cohen

As a cult film fanatic, my taste in films tends to be a little odd. If you were to ask me what my favorite kind of movies are I would answer "you know those movies that are awful, but so awesome at the same time? Those movies." Films that exist in a place where budget, strength of acting, story, and direction can be irrelevant. A place where "Bangkok Revenge" exists. Oh man, this movie is downright one of the most poorly made films I've seen...but at the same time, it's also one that I got pure joy out of watching it. Half the time the film made little to no sense in its half attempted plot and poorly developed characters all the while the execution in direction and acting is questionable at best...but it all combines into a perfect storm of B-grade action awesomeness.

 Manit (Foo) was left for dead as a child when his parents were brutally murdered by the mob. They left a bullet in his head that left him in a coma for quite some time...and left him unable to feel emotion. Raised in the outskirts of Thailand, he is trained to be an expert in martial arts. When new evidence in his parents' murder case opens a new path, he takes the road of revenge to bring justice to a conspiracy that has lasted too long.

There is a better actor in him than this...well as far as B-grade action films go.

So the story isn't original. Crooked cops, girl gangs, a trained killer hero hell bent on revenge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen it before. To be honest "Bangkok Revenge", outside of a few interesting side stories including a French underground fighter that helps him, rarely adds anything new to the overly tread formula. Even the execution is shaky at its best. The acting ranges from surprisingly decent, again our French underground fighter stole some moments, to John Foo's rather apathetic performance to the hair ripping absurdity of some of the supporting cast - including leading lady Ducey who simply has to be better than this for her long career. The film leaps from one subject to the next and, bless his heart for trying, first time director Jean-Marc Mineo struggles to keep it all balanced and focused. As a fan of the art of film, "Bangkok Revenge" is a frustrating and often grating experience to try and follow as the cliche story simply seems to bounce around.

Yet, I have to admit it here, that there was something about "Bangkok Revenge" that had me completely hooked. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the hilarity of its B-grade moments, including a sex scene that is so unbelievably awkward it made me feel uncomfortable, but there were these moments...where a good movie peeked through. Mineo might have had trouble getting the film to flow and balance, but he tries to make certain moments unique and, surprisingly enough, it does work...occasionally. He obviously knows that Foo's strength lies in his fight work and the martial arts sequences can be quite good. Even artistic if you count the cool headlight shadow fight or the elevator throw down. Foo occasionally showcases a charisma for the moment too (it's rare here, he was slightly better in "Tekken") and between that and his strong action sequence presence it was enough to keep me interested.

GOING DOWN in an elevator. Pun intended.

To be honest, "Bangkok Revenge" is a B-grade action flick for B-grade action flick fans. Anyone outside of that realm will find it hard to stomach with its horrible acting and uneven directing. If you are like me though, one that can look beyond the bad to find the enjoyable things in films like this, "Bangkok Revenge" can be quite the piece of entertainment. It tries, dammit, and isn't that half the battle?

Written By Matt Reifschneider

You know you're tempted now. Might as well just click below, order your copy for it's March 26th, 2013 release from our wonderful friends of awesome at Well Go USA, and enjoy a good B-movie night.

Great Magician, The (2013)

Director: Derek Yee
Notable Cast: Tony Leung, Lau Ching-wan, Zhou Xun

Well Go USA has brought out some pretty unique material to US soils since the beginning, so when "The Great Magician" arrived on my doorstep I knew it was going to be something of a spectacle to watch. And this Chinese comedy/action/drama/fantasy does just that. Although I had my issues with some of the executions throughout, "The Great Magician" proves to be a massively fun and entertaining watch that piles on the excitement and humor with flair and impressive performances. It's not a perfect film, but damn if it's not entertaining.

In 1920s Beijing, a group of warlords lead by the mysterious and charming Bully Lei (Lau Ching-wan) have been battling out since the fall of the Qing Dynasty. To even the score, Bully Lei begins to use local magicians to lure people into his army and to also swoon his seventh wife (Zhou Xun) into falling in love with him. When a unknown and very powerful magician (Tony Leung) with a massive troupe appears, Bully Lei decides he is the perfect co-hort to acheive his goals...no matter what the magician's true intentions might be...

Howdy.

Director Derek Yee was a great choice for this film. Right away, it's as if he understood just how this film should play out. He slathers the film in this almost fantasy like atmosphere and jacks up the mysteriousness of the film. Like a magician himself, he really let's the the surface level of the plot and characters to cover up the twists and true intentions. "The Great Magician" plays out like a giant mystery film that keeps the audience completely glued to the screen as depths to our lead characters and strong chemistry is plaid out in front of our eyes. The actors involved take this to the next level too with the stunning cast that is assembled here. Although sometimes the jokes/humor can play a little flat (other times its hilarious!), the cast here own their respective roles and really add to the entire feeling of the film with some stunning performances.

Unfortunately, just like a real magic show, once the mysteriousness has lifted...a lot of the fun seems to be lost in the shuffle. Most of the issues that arise with "The Great Magician" stem from its awkward narrative that seemingly leaps around from character to character at first with little regard to the audience's ability to follow. At times, a perfectly solid narrative is skewed to the point that my confusion about what exactly was happening pulled me out of the film. The red herrings and various little things that are thrown at the audience are meant to create that mystery, but it also occasionally frustrated me as I desperately wanted answers earlier then they occurred.

"Looks cool, right? It actually burns like hell. So there."

"The Great Magician" a wonderfully fun film that was able to ride on the talents of its cast and director despite some issues in its script and how the narrative flows with all of the intent on creating that magic and mystery. I was also a little disappointed with how the film ended on a rather "real" fantasy moment, but I'm guessing that had more to do with the book that the film was based on then what actually fit the film. Nonetheless, "The Great Magician" ended up being quite the entertaining flick that had wonderfully shot magic set pieces and great chemistry to make it all work. Perhaps not a perfect film, it had the ace up its sleeve as a great film to just enjoy for its mystery and magic.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Ordering "The Great Magician" isn't all smoke and mirrors though. Just click the links below to score your copy for it's March 19th, 2013 release via Amazon and our dear friends at Well Go USA. 

Death Race 3: Inferno (2013)

Director: Roel Reine
Notable Cast: Luke Goss, Danny Trejo, Ving Rhames, Dougray Scott, Tanit Phoenix, Robin Shou, Fred Koehler

Although the remake of "Death Race" was one of Paul WS Anderson's better films, it was a rather surprising event that they would make a prequel to it with "Death Race 2." Even more surprising is how they managed to fit a third movie, the focus of this review, as a sequel to "Death Race 2" but still a prequel to the first film. Besides the odd logical leap of how it was supposed to fit together, you should know exactly what you are getting into when you watch a film called "Death Race 3: Inferno." It's low budget action B-grade from start to finish. Although it's easily my least favorite of the three in the franchise, it's still a fun ride that manged to keep me interested throughout.

With the initial success of "Death Race" and the mysterious driver Frankenstein (Goss) only one race from winning his freedom, an odd corporate loop hole allows Niles York (Scott) to rip the franchise out for his own profit. There he changes the rules and demands that Frankenstein lose the race or there will be horrible consequences for him and his team (Trejo, Koehler, Phoenix). So York takes the gig world wide and both Frankenstein and 14K (Shou) are shipped out to South Africa for an all new Death Race...but will Frankenstein defy the system to win or does he have a whole new plan to cheat the system?

"I'm going to race through this franchise to get to much bigger and better films!"

Let me be frank with you, I was not expecting much from "Death Race 3." When you have Paul WS Anderson as a co-writer on a film and not a director, you can pretty much expect it to be illogical and silly. "Death Race 3" is definitely illogical and silly. The entire film is played off like some sort of "spin-off" with a new villain and new location for our heroic team of racers to battle. The villain is heavily over acted by Dougray Scott (he always seems to do that) and the new settting is actually quite boring when it's not being silly. Like why does Goss have to stay in a jail cell that's mid calf full of water? Or why does the terrain drastically change throughout courses? These are normal issues of consistancy that simply come with this series so at least I was expecting it even if they make for an overly frustrating and questionable film going experience.

The desert...very deadly...visually boring.

To be honest, there are really only two things that save this film from being a complete waste of time: Luke Goss and the races. Normally I would say 'the action', but there was one sequence where the women of Death Race have to fight each other that was so utterly stupid and poorly filmed that I can't quite claim all of the action was good. That leaves the racing portions. Perhaps it's just my eternal love for the video game franchise "Twisted Metal" and the car combat it had that makes these moments as much fun as they are, but they are definitely the highlight of the film. It also helps that Goss returns to the fold as our hero Frankenstein and even without the help of any kind of character growth or, you know, plot to help him - he still comes off as quite charming and gives us somebody to root for. He has a screen presence that benefits any film or show he's on and he is easily one of the best reasons to even keep up with this franchise.

What demographic are they going for?

"Death Race 3" is not a good film. If not for some fun car combat and Goss, I would say it's barely watchable beyond having a few good chuckles. The plot is silly (with a 'twist' ending that seems completely and utterly forced), the supporting cast wasted, and the new setting rarely adds anything new to the gimmick that makes it worth the watch. This is a film only for fans of the series or for those looking for a laughable B-grade action flick...which has its place.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Lake Placid (1999)

Director: Steve Miner
Notable Cast: Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Brendan Gleeson, Oliver Platt, Betty White

For the first film in my "Croc Of Sh!t: Killer Croc/Gator Film Marathon", I had to go back and revisit the film that really brought this sub-genre into the modern age, "Lake Placid." Although the film has significant talent behind it with a great cast, Steve Miner in the director's chair, and the witty writing of David E. Kelly, really the film is nothing more than a big budget B-film. To a film fan like myself, it probably works for the better that way as the film embraces some of the ridiculousness of its plot to make things exciting and fun. It's not really a great film by any means, but it knows how to entertain and it does that well.

The area around Black Lake has been a peaceful area for quite some time. Only a handful of houses exist on the lake front and nature is left there to be itself. When a fish and game officer is torn in half while studying beavers right in front of the local sheriff (Gleeson), a massive investigation ensues. Another fish and game officer (Pullman) is sent to help along with a paleontologist (Fonda) who needs to look at a tooth found at the crime scene. When an eclectic croc hunter (Platt) also shows, the group begins to think that a very large crocodile has found it's way to Maine...and the only natural predator there to stop it may not survive long enough to tell anyone.

"Lake Placid" is an odd hybrid of styles. It's quite obviously an 'adventure' film from how Miner presents the plot, but the film itself is littered with horror elements and slathered in Kelly's quirky character and fast paced comedic wit. In a way, it very much comes off as a fun film that is never meant to be taken seriously and caters to an audience willing to just run with the idea...which in itself is pretty ridiculous.  The humor did really work though and the film is populated with enough great off beat neurotic characters that it was almost more fun to watch them bicker than to watch the crocodile try to kill them.

Top notch special effects help the film seem less ridiculous...

The plot itself follows a pretty basic premise and the thrills tend to be rather mundane despite the ridiculousness of the situations. It's only horror in some of the loosest senses. "Lake Placid" is more action oriented than anything. How else would you justify seeing a bear/croc fight or to see a 30 foot croc try to rip a helicopter out of the air? By making it an adventure film, that's how. And the blend essentially works as it runs through all of the motions to get us to the ending with as little deep effort as possible.

As a pilot, this is perhaps my worst fear. Honest.

There are a few things that bugged me about "Lake Placid." The rather by the numbers approach lead it to be very predictable and the film definitely leaves a lot to be assumed for the audience to make sense of it both in characters and plot. Even the few twists that it throws out to make the film interesting are out of the blue - including a very laughable one at the end that comes off the wrong way. It's far from original in any way and it can come off as a bit forced in many of its 'thrills.' Horror fans may not find a lot here to be impressed by outside of the quirk and solid special effects.

Nonetheless, "Lake Placid" is still a fun and quirky film that really does entertain more than impress on many of its levels. The special effects are stellar (the CGI is a bit dated now, but Stan Winston's work is still amazing) and the ridiculousness of some moments is worth the watch. I mean, seriously you get to see a giant croc take out a bear! So go into with a grain of salt, enjoy it for the big budget B movie it is and you'll leave with a smile on your face.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Battle Royale II: Requiem (2003)

Directors: Kenta Fukasaku (with one scene directed by Kinji Fukasaku)
Notable Cast: Tatsuya Fujiwara, Ai Maeda, Shugo Oshinari, Riki Takeuchi, Takeshi Kitano

I love "Battle Royale." You should too. It's a fantastic blend of grindhouse violence, thoughtful commentary, and stunning execution on all ends. The cheese of the film never feels cheesy. The extreme violence never feels extreme and almost artful at times. The performances might be hit or miss, but the film is so invigorating that I rarely noticed. "Battle Royale II" is none of these things. The film is very cheesy and over exaggerated. The violence is thoughtless and the tension of the deaths missing. The performances are all misses. Although I wouldn't claim the film to be quite as bad as others, it's very hard not to feel the heavy weight of disappointment on my shoulders when it comes to it.

As terrorists with no transport, being on an island is a horrible idea.

After the events of "Battle Royale," the survivors who beat the odds have decided to fight against the adults and their skewed world by creating a terrorist organization "Wild Seven." In retaliation towards this retaliation, the Japanese adults decide to revise "Battle Royale" into "BRII," where a Japanese class is taken, given weapons, and told to go kill the Wild Seven. Will the class succeed or decide enough is enough and join with the rebels?

Initially, I loved the concept of "Battle Royale II." The survivors of the first film create a terrorist organization and start blowing up shit. That sounds like a great action movie to jack up with violence. It could take the entire 'world gone to hell' concept a step further and allow it to inject more social/political commentary. Too bad "Battle Royale II" doesn't. Right from the get go it seems like this film was off the mark. The first half of the film, although entertaining in a B-movie sort of way, completely fails to embrace the initial premise. It's quickly brushed over to kick us to the 'teacher explains stuff' sequence where we are giving a pretty outrageous run down of the new game. The acting is terrible, complete with one of the most over-acted characters (our pill chewing teacher) that I have ever seen, the story makes no fucking sense whatsoever as they decide to use kids to front an assault on an island where the terrorists are holed up, and the style of the film is less about tension and art and more about ripping off modern war films. We care nothing for any of the kids involved as they are literately killed by the dozens in a war like sequence to start off the film. There might be more action here to be had for entertainment, but its modern shaky cam style certainly didn't come off as realistic as they seemed to want it. Then, of course, the film makes so little sense that it's laughable half the time...and believe it or not, this first half is the better half.

"I just have one question...are you part lion?"

At the mid way point, the film comes to a screeching halt in momentum. Even if the first half didn't make sense and we didn't care about the characters, it was at least action packed and silly. At the half way point the film careens off the ledge and bombards the viewer with useless flashbacks (that would have been nice earlier so we would have cared about what was happening at all) and a droll of pseudo-social commentary that seemingly drags on and on and on. By the time the finale shows up, with perhaps the weirdest change of character motivation for the teacher I have ever seen on film, I was not only disappointed with the direction the film went, but I was bored too.

"I'll get you next time, Gadget!"

To be honest, I have seen much worse out of sequels than "Battle Royale II." The problem is that the first film was so good that when it went downhill, it had a long way to go and this film rolls ass-over-teapot on the way down. It's silly, over acted, under developed in writing, and worst of all - inconsistent in pacing. At times it was delightfully bad though and great for a few unintentional laughs, but it definitely missed the mark as a sequel. It's no wonder this film was tacked on as basically an extra 'goodie' in the collector's box for the first film. It's not worth the purchase on its own.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Grave Encounters 2 (2013)

Director: John Poliquin
Notable Cast: Richard Harmon, Leanne Lap, Sean Rogerson

As if the horror genre needed more generic found footage films, "Grave Encounters 2" decided to rear its ugly head. Now before I get into my review for this sequel I will state that despite being rather by the numbers, I actually found things to enjoy about the first "Grave Encounters." Don't believe me? Click the hyperlink in the title of the first film. There were elements that I quite enjoyed about it. Thusly, I went into "Grave Encounters 2" with a relative cautious optimism that there might be something...just something...that I might take away from it. If there is anything that would kill optimism in the found footage horror genre, its generic and rehashed sequels like this.

Alex Wright (Harmon) is a film student desperate to make his tour de force horror flick. He's a particular horror fan himself and when he starts receiving mysterious emails and messages from someone named 'deathawaits' on his review for the first "Grave Encounters" film, he decides to investigate. As it turns out, the first "Grave Encounters" wasn't a movie at all...it was all real. With the location of the real mental hospital that the first film was shot at in hand, he is going to take a small crew and film his true horror classic...

"This is my last will and testament...don't watch this movie!"

I try to not use the term 'knock off' too often as many audiences can mix up 'homage' and 'knock off' too quickly. I have no qualm with calling "Grave Encounters 2" a complete and utter knock off film riding on the coattails of its predecessor and far superior found footage horror films. None at all. In fact, it was so blatantly pulling scenes and ideas from other horror films that, with a few drinks, it might have been damn close to a fun trivia game called "What's This Scene Stolen From?"

Cool monster...massively underused.

When the first act of this found footage film rips on "Blair Witch 2," you already know you are in trouble. Not that the idea is bad. The meta-concept of having the first film in a franchise turn out to be 'real' footage was fun in "Blair Witch 2" but it just was horribly executed. With "Grave Encounters 2" it's just as horribly executed and, quite frankly, very boring. Then the film cascades into the haunted asylum where it follows the same footsteps of its predecessor and steals scenes from "[Rec]", "Blair Witch", and even "Paranormal Activity" at one point. By the time anything original happens in the third act (where it does take a neat twist that creates a connection to the first film...even if its a very large stretch even in the context of the series), I was so disinterested by the lacking cohesive narrative and characters that I was almost angry.

There was a moment or two in "Grave Encounters 2" that gave me some false hope, but the overall product is such a mess of stolen ideas and half thought executions that its not even really worth it for horror fans. You've seen this film a multitude of times before and every single one of them has been better (expect for maybe "Paranormal Entity"...that shit was awful). My recommendation is to skip this one and go for something even slightly better.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

So if you are truly a glutton for punishment, feel free to order your copy from the links below for its official March 12th, 2013 release.

Freaked (1993)

Directors: Alex Winter, Tom Stern
Notable Cast: Alex Winter, Randy Quaid, Brooke Shields, Mr. T, Bobcat Goldthwait, Michael Stoyanov, Megan Ward, Keanu Reeves, William Sadler, and the skeleton of Paul Lynde

"Twelve milkmen IS theoretically possible. Thirteen is silly. Looks like there's one milkman too many, Coogan!"-- Ortiz The Dog Boy

After a brief, but quite successful, run with their sketch comedy show "The Idiot Box" on MTV, Alex Winter and Tom Stern solidified a deal for a film with Fox. What came from this deal is the surrealistic Monty Python-esque horror comedy "Freaked." What didn't come with the deal for this film was success. After some hum drum issues over at Fox, the film was essentially left for dead with limited promotion and even less of a push to mainstream America. Thusly, it took me this long to be able to see the damn thing. The wait was worth it though. "Freaked" has to be one of the funniest films from that era that I have ever seen. It's gloriously over the top with slap stick humor, it's silly beyond belief with the plot, and it is never afraid to do some of the most random things you have ever seen. All in all, its a film that you either get or you don't.

Make sure the photo op comes from his good side...

Ricky Coogin (Winter) is one of Hollywood's biggest actors. He's a little simple, but with the help of some greedy contracts he finds himself heading to South America to sponsor a questionable chemical product.While there, his best friend (Stoyanov) and a protester (Ward) stumble across an off the beaten path 'Freek Show' run by an eclectic and dastardly showman (Quaid). There this humble freak show owner turns people into these monsters and keeps them there for entertainment and our three heroes are caught in the mix...

When I made mention that "Freaked" is a film you either get or you don't, I damn well mean it. This is the kind of comedy that truly divides its viewers and it will divide them to significant lengths. Either the ridiculous Zucker/Python style visual slapstick and odd jokes will make you feel offended or it will have you on the floor laughing. I happen to fall into that latter category. I thought "Freaked" was way too funny to be the cult of cult films that it is. The jokes come rapid fire and Winter and company are relentless in the physical and off the cuff humor...all done with that early 90s MTV style spin.

Having this character voiced by Bobcat Goldthwait is just...pure genius.

This movie is weird too. The plot is absolute nonsense and beyond its initial "bad, sleazy corporations" moment, "Freaked" doesn't seem to have any kind true underlying meaning or lesson to be learned from its over the top antics. Even the usual, "don't judge people by their looks" seems to be kicked to curb in the focus of delivering some of the most ridiculous sequences I have ever seen. Have you ever wanted to see two walking 4-feet-tall eyes wielding machine guns and smoking joints? How about a circus full of freaks all dressed as milk men engaged in a knife fight? Well, whether you want to or not, "Freaked" delivers those kinds of moments...and, whether you find it funny or not, the film is unforgettable in them.

It helps that the entire cast and crew seems dedicated to making it as off beat as possible. The fact that Alex Winter had to sell his character while wearing half of a goblin costume the entire movie (and rarely being able to speak because of the mouth piece) is the kind of dedication this entire film has. The make up effects (and some amazing costumes/stop motion) make for a film Rob Zombie's art would have be jealous to accomplish. Yet, its Randy Quaid's off the kilter villain that steals every scene in the film. He's a master comedian at the odd supporting character (everyone remembers him from the "Vacation" films) and this is him at some of his best.

No caption needed.

"Freaked" might be quite light on the horror and sometimes feels almost too uncontrolled for its own focus, but dammit, I had a blast watching it. It's awkward in all the greatest ways playing up physical and off the wall humor to its maximum potential. It is most certainly not a film for everyone, but here at Blood Brothers...we give it only the highest recommendation.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Unfortunately this film is out of print at this time. Here are two links to a few used copies on Amazon in case you are in dire need to see this film (including a link for the VHS release)...the links may not work for very long though. 

Interview With A Hitman (2013)

Director: Perry Bhandal
Notable Cast: Luke Goss, Caroline Tillette

Luke Goss has been on the brink of leaping up to the big leagues of an action star for a couple years now. His memorable and bitchin' villain from "Hellboy II" and his eventual take over of the "Death Race" sequels has solidified him as a great cult star to follow. When "Interview With A Hitman" arrived on my doorstep featuring Luke Goss in a Bond-esque position with an old school stark white colored cover, I was ecstatic. Don't let his past films and roles fool you though, this latest underground picture brought to the mainstream by Well Go USA is not an actioner. It's quite the reserved and artful thriller mixed with just enough drama and character focused drive to keep it delightfully arthouse while retaining some of that intense atmosphere.

Viktor (Goss) has decided to spill his life story. He contacts a director to conduct an interview with him, so that he might tell his tale of growing up to become one of the best and most lethal hitmen you've never seen. Ffrom the streets of Europe to the cities of the US, his travels all seem to be leading him towards one thing...is it redemption for the life he has lived?

"Wait...you want me for a role that doesn't require make up or a mask?"

If you plan on checking out "Interview" (and for those who enjoy Luke Goss, I highly recommend it), then know two things going into it. First, it's not an action movie. It's a thriller. Second, it's a very subtle film that focuses on storytelling and character work for the payoff. I know this will lead to a slew of other reviewers screaming "it's boring" or "where's the action" and, to be honest, it's quite understandable. After the first half hour of an elongated sequence explaining how Viktor became involved with the mob in Bucharest as a child I was thinking the same damn thing. I didn't realize just how minimalistic that director/writer Perry Bhandal was going to keep it. It's very minimalistic. The dialogue is scarce, the score is very simple while being a driving force for the atmosphere of the picture, and even the multitude of characters require a bit effort from you to buy into their subtle performances. If you put in the effort though, it does pay off as the story twists and turns later on.

..So that's how he won the Luke Goss look-a-like contest!

For "Interview" to work though, it truly relied on Luke Goss to carry it and I was shocked at how remarkably well he does. Although the darkness of the atmosphere and simplicity of the execution might be the highlight of the film, Goss certainly adds some unique layers to the character in his own ways. We know the guy can do action, and the few sequences of physical combat are well placed and strongly executed here, but his cold demeanor and strong eye work (the guy has a death stare to truly be frightened of) really do help. Sans the occasional thought that Goss might make a fantastic Agent 47 for the "Hitman" film series, he owns this role.

So why only a three and half blood drop rating at the bottom of the review? Well, "Interview With A Hitman" isn't without its flaws. Structurally the film can be a bit of a chore. Although I appreciate the old school mystery style that begins to boil to the surface in the latter half of the film, some of the aspects of the film are rushed or dragged out to make sure the audience keeps up. The childhood sequence feels too long at times (although pay attention because a lot of little details come back in the third act, so it does mostly pay off) and yet the pivotal romantic turning point of the film seems a bit rushed as it has to leap through months of time to get us to certain "highlights" that will punctuate the ending. Which also brings me to the 'twist' ending. Although I loved the basic idea behind the suddenly curving and quite fitting end to the film, it almost felt like it could have been built up more to why Viktor has chosen to do the interview to begin with, just so we are left with a bigger bang. I don't want to give too much away, but know that despite the length of the his story...a lot of it comes back in surprising and effective ways. Even if it could have been even more effective at times.

Don't you hate it when you go in for a kiss and totally miss...biting them on the nose?

To recap, "Interview With A Hitman" is a strong suspense thriller for Luke Goss that brings his acting talents to the forefront. Director/writer Bhandal definitely executed a unique vision of what could have been a generic film and it pays off with some surprising twists that worked for me. It's a very slow burning film that could have used a slightly tweaked structure and pacing to help, but "Interview With A Hitman" worked on a multitude of levels that shocked even me.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

I highly suggest picking up "Interview With A Hitman" for those with a more artistic taste in their thrillers. Lucky you, I have the links below so you can order your copy for its March 5, 2013 release from Well Go USA.