Taken (2008) - 4.5/5

Revenge thrillers are a dime a dozen. I don't even want to go through this site to see how many revenge thrillers we have even reviewed let alone how many are yet to be reviewed. Some of them try to do unique things with their stories or characters, but it doesn't always work. That is what makes "Taken" such an effective film. It really doesn't do anything gimmicky with its story. It sticks to the basics, but it sells them so well with its execution I was gripped by the jugular throughout the entire thing. Now that is a good action/thriller.

Bryan Mills (Neeson) seems like your average father. He has left his job to be closer to his daughter (Grace) when his ex-wife (Janssen) moves to L.A. with her new man. He struggles with his money and does his best to be the father he wasn't before. When his daughter is kidnapped on a trip to Paris though, his previous job as a black ops "preventer" comes in handy as he tears through France to find his daughter.

Building on a script written by Blood Brothers favorite Luc Besson and partnering it with the direction of Pierre Morel (who had teamed up prior on the charismatic "District B13"), "Taken" brings two very talented French film artists with the charming and often intense performance of Liam Neeson. This combination positively proves lethal here. The wickedly fast pace of the film is matched with the intensity of Neeson's performance (who delivers some B-movie lines with some much vigor and ferocity that it works) and Morel brings out the best of its over the top moments so that the film weaves through its genre-esque moments and makes it seem like a legit thriller. Albanian women smugglers? French spies? Middle Eastern connections? This should come off as a cheap action film, but it rarely does. It's intense and effective instead.

"Taken" does suffer from its B-grade moments though. The ending is a bit tacked on, some of the supporting cast are ill developed, and one has to suspend some logic to get where the film wants you to go (like recognizing the man's voice from the phone call in person a couple days later). If you can leap over these minute flaws though, "Taken" will take you for a ride.

Fans of Besson or the up-and-coming Morel will find more than enough to love about "Taken". It has some amazingly awesome quotes (including one of the best monologues I've heard in a genre film in a long time), the action is solid as Neeson kicks ass, takes their name, and kicks their ass again, and the charm of the style and performances wins over the flaws. This is one of my favorite films of the last decade and one that modern thrillers will compete against.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Road to Fort Alamo, The (1964) - 2/5

When I order a Spaghetti Western, I expect a lip smacking pasta dripping with tomato sauce, covered in parmesan cheese accompanied by a buttery breadstick on the side. When all I get is a plate full of plain noodles I get a little distraught especially if the dish is cooked by a master chef such as Mario Bava. I seriously got excited to finally sit down and watch a Spaghetti Western that was directed by one of Italy's finest and after finishing the film it's easy to see why Bava is nicknamed the "master of the macabre" and not "master of the western."

We open with a lonely soul (Ken Clark) coming across a dead wagon train of Union soldiers with orders to pick up a load of cash for payroll. He teams up with an outlaw gang and attempts to get the money while wearing the dead soldiers' uniforms. All backfires when the gang turns against him and his buddy and they are left for dead only to be rescued by another Yankee wagon train heading through dangerous Ozark Indian territory. Torn if they should take the money and run, they predictably decide to stay and protect the women and children from the Native onslaught.

"The Road to Fort Alamo" was made right at the dawn of the Spaghetti Western cycle being released the same year as Sergio Leone's trend setting "Fistful of Dollars." Sadly Leone's trademark styles of the genre are mostly missing here and the film is far too similar to an American western for my taste in both plot, characters and approach. Even Mario Bava's eye-catching style is downplayed which is a damn shame considering what a keen eye for style the man has.

To top it off with its tame is the film is over-all made rather shoddy. The night backdrops look like sets complete with poorly painted backgrounds and the absolute most fake looking cactuses I have ever laid my eyes upon. The Indians are also a joke as they are all highly decorated with bright, and very plastic looking bird feathers.

Ken Clark (better known for playing Dick Malloy in Italy's James Bond knock-off "Agent 077" trilogy) plays the stoic hero well but he's far too much of a goody two-shoes for my taste in a Spaghetti Western. He's all about protecting the women and children John Wayne style and righting his wrong decisions. A little more rugged "Clint Eastwood" anti-hero approach to the character would have been much appreciated.

Though tame for the genre, it still has its moments of Spaghetti Western goodness as it does fair a little more in the violence area than American westerns, especially during the robbery scene when a gang member brutally shoots an elderly woman for screaming. Hardcore!

After finishing the film it's easy to see that Mario Bava's heart wasn't into the project as it's definitely just a 'director for hire' gig. No doubt he would have much preferred to be on the set making a moody horror picture or Giallo than just another "spaghetti western". Out of his entire filmography, "Road to Fort Alamo" is one of the more obscure films of his no doubt because it's not that good... not horrible but only worth hunting down for the most die-hard Bava fans. Wild East released the film on DVD in a double feature with the Spanish western "A Place Called Glory" for those interested in seeing the picture.

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Zombie Diaries 2: World Of The Dead, The (2011) - 1.5/5

Although mixed reviews got me to view the very disappointing "Zombie Diaries", it was my own franchise addiction that lead me to "The Zombie Diaries 2: World Of The Dead". This addiction has once again lead me into a crappy sequel to the crappy original. The problem with this sophomore effort is that is really never fixes what was wrong with the first one. It suffers from all of the same flaws, the biggest one being how completely boring it is.

Now that the world has completely gone to shit due an outbreak of zombie, a group of ragtag soldiers are bound determined to survive. Their encampment gets compromised so they turn to a random communication that states a few boats will be leaving the UK for safer areas where people are gathering to fight off the zombie menace. In between them and their salvation lies a horde of zombies, bad weather, and bandits looking to pillage. Will they ever make it alive?

I don't want to be too harsh on "Zombie Diaries 2", as it does have some redeeming qualties. Firstly, the general production value of the film is better. It simply looks better and seems a bit more thought out with its more straight forward storytelling. It also helps that directors Bartlett and Gates seem to have a stronger hand with their directing and focus their attentions with greater finesse.

That doesn't quite help it dig out of the massive hole it still creates for itself. "Zombie Diaries 2" will still bore you to death with its slow motion pacing. It moves as fast as the ridiculously slow moving zombies do (at some points its like they aren't even threatening despite how haphazardly people yell and shoot) and with the lackluster acting and awful dialogue to go with it, this film annoys with its half assed executions. It wants so desperately to be taken seriously that it even throws in some rape sequences (yes, that's plural) to try and evoke some kind of emotion out of its audience. It doesn't work. It just seems like it tries too hard at that point.

In all honestly, unless you have to see it because you saw the first one, don't bother with this second attempt at a serious zombie flick. It's boring, forces itself into corners, and can't execute itself on any levels that would make it worth the time invested. Skip it and move onto better zombie flicks.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Red (2010) - 2.5/5

There is a potential in every aspect of "Red" that should get genre fans excited. A fantastic cast, a quirky script, and enough action to shake a stick at. With tongue-in-cheek approaches to story I fully expected to love this film...but as it would turn out, "Red" loves to play it half way the entire time. It smarms its up with enough ridiculousness to tease that inner 'B-movie action fan' in me, but never fully commits to it and plays up some of the more mainstream qualities that would benefit a wider audience. A move that leaves the film hanging in the balance.

When a team of assassins appears on the door step of retired CIA black ops specialist Frank (Willis), the charismatic man of multiple talents has a decision to make. He flees to obtain the woman (Parker) with which he has built up a rather odd relationship with and proceeds to build a team of retired agents to help him unravel a mystery that will lead him into his past and head on with an ambitious new CIA agent assigned to kill him (Urban).

The plot and general idea of "Red" is a riot. Seeing Willis kick ass (as he always does) and partner that with the insanity of Malkovich and seeing Helen Mirren lug around a sniper rifle? This film does strike that fun vibe. When its over the top, its so over the top and its awesome. There is extensive gun fights with bullets spilling everywhere - including the assassination team who tear apart the house in the first gun fight - and the ridiculousness of many of the characters (let's give Malkovich more props here for hauling around a stuffed pig) charms the hell out of the audience. In terms of charm and stylistic action - "Red" is shooting for the kill. Or batting a grenade into a baddie...whatever.

Unfortunately, what happens from there is that it just gets too serious. There is a rather weakly built romantic subplot and the CIA mystery with political intrigue doesn't embrace the outrageousness of the action and characters as it seems like your average "Bourne" motive. The rather basic story undermines the humor and cheesiness by making the film so average and thusly rather unmemorable. It's still fun at times, but it almost makes you want to care about the characters but doesn't go far enough to actually make us care.

By the end of the film, I felt rather apathetic towards the whole thing. It didn't run with the "B-action movie" vibe enough to throw it up into the levels of "Shoot Em Up" or "Crank", but it didn't play the seriousness of its plot or romantic subplots  to levels to get us to care either. It just sort of goes through the motions, occasionally hitting the fun it needed to, but not consistently enough. It's a fun movie, but not something I would claim as one of the best of its genre at all.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Hero (2002) - 5/5

Although at times I feel Zhang Yimou's films are a bit too much art in martial arts (see "House Of Flying Daggers"), his true triumph in film making comes in the form of "Hero". This little wuxia film blends brilliant sword play, fantastical elements, artistic values, and some ideologies of classic China history into a mixture that's both beautiful and volatile. A lethal combination that leaves one stunned with visual prowess and intense fighting all done with a brilliant eye for balance.

A nameless sword master (Jet Li) has to accomplish the unspeakable for the King Of Qin (Chen Daoming) to receive massive acclaim and awards. He must defeat three of the world's deadliest assassins, Sky (Donnie Yen), Falling Snow (Maggie Cheung), and Broken Sword (Tony Leung) just to gain an audience with the King. Can this swift swordsman truly finish the task or is there something larger playing out?

There is so many great things that go on with "Hero" it's hard to find a place to start for this review. So let's start at the bottom with the foundations. The story for "Hero" is clever and immaculately structured. Told as a re-accounting of previous events via our nameless swordsman, the structure of the film leaps from present to various versions of the past. The various versions each have differing details as we get Nameless' tale, the King's impression, and the truth. These three versions each have intense moments of sword fighting, new elements to the intense and passionate characters, and discoveries that make you go "oooohhhh". Nothing like a good "ooooohhhhh" to get one into the film.

This is, of course, all heightened with Zhang Yimou's visual finesse. The brilliant shades of colors and fantastical elements of leaping add a flair distinct to each story that embraces the emotions of the moment and magnifies the eye gobbling epicness of the film. It envelopes the characters (and the audience) into the moment. With the strong casting and riveting performances of our leads, the on screen ferocity of the dramatic elements is out of this world.

The dramatic elements is all fine and dandy, but we also want some kick ass martial arts...am I right? Luckily, this is in full effect here too. There is sword fights up the ying-yang here. We get all kinds of ridiculous high flying fights including a fight while leaping off water, a richly textured sword fight in swirling fall leaves, and the highlight of the film: Jet Li and Donnie Yen duking it out on a rain drenched playing area. Martial arts fans will eat it up.

"Hero" is by far one of my favorite martial arts films of all time and its visually stunning look, impressive choreography, and amazing acting all create a film that's as potent as it is fun. Whether you agree with some of its themes or not, "Hero" is a beast of a film and one to be remembered.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Super 8 (2011) - 4/5

Although the viral campaign had me hooked into the concept of "Super 8", the film itself wasn't the monster flick that was hinted at with its trailers but it is more like the science fiction/dramas of the 80s that producer Steven Spielberg crafted. This lends a bit of disappointment at my end, but its hard to deny the impressive writing and directing that J.J. Abrams brings to the table with this family friendly alien monster film. It hits all the right emotional cues with its young cast and it entertains was massive action sequences. It's all around just another solid film for the new mainstream king of science fiction.

When a group of young teens desperate to finish filming their zombie film happen to see a massive train derailment in their small town, the entire city is thrown into some unusual circumstances. Electronics, engines, and microwaves begin to disappear along with some of the local town folk. The military has taken up to doing rounds in the area. It's beginning to look like something has broken free from the train...something that may not be of this world.

Strip "Super 8" down to the basic details and, yeah, its a monster/alien movie. Tons of special effects, a cleverly designed alien, and some great mystery surrounding the beast makes for an entertaining science fiction film. Sometimes it can be a little ridiculous (the train derailment is seriously one of the most extravagant and over the top train crashes I have seen EVER in a film) and it takes away from the plot of the film...but it is entertaining and it works for the most part and often times seems innovative with how it fits into the plot.

Believe it or not, for an Abrams film, the special effects and explosions are not the best part of the film. Of course his style as a director crafts some very awesome sequences (like the small town being overrun with tanks), but really its his writing that makes this film what it is. Our fantastically acted entourage of kid heroes invokes a childish view of the world  where the mystique of the film is fully realistic and their plight to save one another in a world where adults don't seem to always know what's best allows the audience to pull for them in full gear...cheering on their quest and believing in their friendships and young love with vigor. J.J. Abrams might be a director know for entertaining, but he has one helluva way of combining it with enough emotional attachment to make us believe. Something that mainstream science fiction rarely establishes anymore (...cough, Michael Bay, cough).

I wasn't quite as impressed as I thought I would be with "Super 8" as the Abrams loses some of his own style in the homage to the 80s childhood wonder of Spielberg's vision, but the execution of the film with its solid writing and great acting makes for a solid science fiction romp. Occasionally it runs into a few awkward plot moves (with Coach Taylor being able to escape military?), but overall its a fantastic watch. One that I fully recommend.

Written By Matt Reifschneider

Humongous (1982) - 2.5/5

Back in 1982 the word "Humongous" was a rather new and proved to be good fodder for a horror film title thus this Canadian slasher was written around that term. So we get director Paul Lynch, hot off the success of "Prom Night", returning to give the slasher genre another stab with not as congenial of results despite a promising premises.

A group of dumb-ass teens crash their fathers yacht off shore of a mysterious island only rumored to be occupied by a senile old woman and a pack of wild dogs. Well it seems that the women was raped 35 years before and the residuum of that encounter was a deformed child that grows up to be a "humongous" wild haired madman. The thing dabbles in cannibalism and since his mother's demise roams the island looking for food.

A wilderness madman was nothing new in the genre thanks to "Friday the 13th Part 2" inspiring such slasher off-spring as "Madman", "The Burning" and "Don't Go in the Woods" but what makes this one stand-out in the bunch is the unique setting of a remote island. This adds to potential suspense as our group of young adults are trapped, with no-where to run.

The wild hairy monster itself is nothing special or unique and Paul Lynch wisely keeps the thing unseen in the shadows for the most part. Clever use of shadows is the name of the game for Lynch as he drapes the creep old house and woods in darkness again adding for potential suspense.

I use the word 'potential' as Lynch sadly misses many marks to make this truly scary. The climax, if you want to call it that, is unexciting without jumps or scars, despite the clever use of shadows.

The acting is nothing special and rather poor for the most part making the characters nothing more than cannibal fodder for the slaughter. Seriously this group of teens is some of the most unlikeable I've seen in the glory age of classic slashers. One jackass even aims a loaded gun at his brother, playfully saying he's going to blow his brains out. Fuck these guys... let them become cannibal food.

"Humongous" is worth hunting down for fans of the genre as it has been rather hard to find until it's recent DVD release by Scorpion. It had major potential to be a suspenseful thriller but mostly falls flat thanks to shit characters, bad acting and a director that is unable to craft true suspense. Don't expect a slasher among the ranks of "The Burning" and you will find some entertainment value to insure it won't be a 'humungous' letdown.

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Strip Nude for Your Killer (1975) - 2/5

On one side of the Giallo genre you have the edgy elegance of the Hitchcock inspired thrillers among the works of Dario Argento and Mario Bava. On the other side you have... "Strip Nude for Your Killer". As one can tell from the 'in your face' title this firmly belongs on the trashy side of the Giallo genre along with the likes of such 'masterworks' as "The French Sex Murders". As a matter of fact "Strip Nude for Your Killer" very well might be the trashiest the genre has to offer... which can be a good or bad thing depending on what you look for in entertainment.

The simplistic murder mystery plot opens with a women dying during an illegal abortion procedure in which the doctor and an unseen assailant stage it as an accident. A few years later all of the friends and co-workers of the dead women are being brutally killed by a motorcycle masked killer. Now a photographer has to solve the murder before everyone in his agency ends up dead.

The plot is full of every cliché Giallo element known to fans. Main character tries to solve the murders without police involvement: check. Black gloved killer: check. Outrageous twist ending: check. Doses of bloody gore: check. Nudity: QUADRUPLE CHECK. Director Andrea Bianchi was never known for making art (his zombie film "Burial Ground" is a prime example) and he is far more interested in showing ample amounts of female skin over developing an engaging murder mystery.

Andrea Bianchi also injects plenty of odd comedy into the picture to me it just came off putting when sandwiched in-between violent murders and attempted rapes. Maybe it's a cultural barrier but I found most of the comical elements at odds with the rest of the film and rather annoying.

All of the actors are absolute mediocre but with a mediocre plot they fit right in. The sole person that shines is the gorgeous brunet Edwige Fenech, a veteran of many Gialli including "The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh" and "The Case of the Bloody Iris". Don't worry... we get to see plenty of her skin too.

Violence and nudity are an expected element in the Giallo genre but they are usually done with style and pizazz without overtaking the plot. The filmmakers here say fuck the plot, fuck subtlety and go overboard with the female skin in hopes that that exploitative element alone would sell tickets. It worked as many people choose to see this trashy picture due to its title and reputation over much better films the genre has to offer. As an engrossing Giallo this fails but if female nudity is your sole element to judge a films quality then dig in.

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Cyberjack [Virtual Assassin] (1995) - 1.5/5

I have an insane, some might call unhealthy addiction for any film starring Michael "Dude"ikoff. Being a huge Cannon film buff I first saw such 'astonishing' Dudikoff performances in such films as "American Ninja", "Avenging Force" and "Platoon Leader". For the most part I haven't seen many films he did after Cannon languished... and "Cyberjack" proves it's for good reason.

The plot is nothing more than a lame "Die Hard" rip-off with healthy dose of that virtual high-tech bullshit that so many films in the early 90s tried to capitalize on. Dudikoff is a burnt out ex-cop that takes the job as a janitor for a computer virus facility. After grimacing through some sequences where he flirts with his boss's daughter, the building he works at gets high jacked by a psychotic albino (Brion James) that just happens to be the same guy that blew his partner away. Now it's time to go all John McClane on their asses.

So many plot elements are recycled from "Die Hard" that one will fill an head-ache inducing sense of deja vu waving over them. Crawling through ductwork: check. Killing guy to get machine gun: check. Hero clashing with police outside: check. Trust me, all the "Die Hard" cliché's are here.

Aside from the "Die Hard" elements the high tech futuristic portion of the plot is also completely ridiculous. Our head villain wants a computer virus injected into his body in order for him to go viral. Seriously, are we ripping off "The Lawnmower Man" also? Hell, I will admit the plot is more intriguing than "Lawnmower Man 2".

The production values are low and Dudikoff's performance is on caliber of stiff cardboard, but all this is to be expected. Veteran actor Brion James ("Blade Runner") steals the show as our villain but his appearance is so god damn hokey that he only induces laughter instead of terror. His white albino look and crazy 80's fountain hair is nothing more than absolute ludicrousness. Come on guys, this is the same guy that gave us the insane sadistic performance in "The Horror Show" so give him some dignity when he appears on screen!

"Cyberjack" is nothing more than an extremely low rent futuristic action film that serves nothing more than filler on the video store rental shelves. At the same time it proves that Dudikoff sorely misses the B-action magic of the Cannon film logo in order to make is drivel at least entertaining. My advice is to skip it unless you catch it on a midnight showing due to insomnia.

The film ironically was released under two separate titles no doubt wanting to fool people into renting such drivel twice thinking their getting a different film. The first is the more catchy and fitting "Cyberjack" and the other is the utterly generic "Virtual Assassin." The version I own on DVD is under the latter title from Lionsgate and it's obvious "Virtual Assassin" is not the original title as the font and cheap graphics look nothing like the rest of the opening credits.

Written By Eric Reifschneider

Mafia (1968) - 4/5

The simply titled "Mafia" (aka "Day of the Owl") is first of three politically charged Poliziotteschi crime thrillers that Italian superstar Franco Nero teamed up with director Damiano Damiani. Out of all three that the two collaborated on (this, "Confessions of a Police Captain" and "How to Kill a Judge"), "Mafia" is my personal favorite despite being the most somber of the three with little action and by far the most difficult to locate on home video.

Taking place in the Sicilian countryside, the film focuses on a personal war between a newly appointed police captain (Franco Nero) and Mafia boss Don Mariano (J. Lee Cobb) who both abide by their own beliefs and ethics and loyalty. Caught in the middle is a beautiful peasant (Claudia Cardinale) who's husband served as an eyewitness to a mafia hit.

This early entry into the Poliziotteschi genre is among the first to deal with the mafia (though it is never mentioned by name) and manages to avoid many of the plot trappings of films to come. Like the other two entries directed by Damiano Damiani this is a somber moving film that goes into great detail about police procedure... an approach that guarantees not much action.

What makes me like this film than Damiani's other films in the genre is the beautiful look provided by visionary cinematographer Tonino Delli Colli, a veteran of films with Mario Bava and Dario Argento, which captures the rustic landscape of Sicily wonderfully. This beautiful look is draped perfectly with a dynamic euro score by Giovanni Fusco.

The cast is also tops with an amazing international cast. A young, mustache-less Franco Nero is assured as the Police Captain and Cardinale is as complex and gorgeous as she was in Sergio Leone's "Once Upon a Time in the West" which was released the same year as this. American actor J. Lee Cobb makes a surprise appearance as the Don proving the films antagonist is just as smart and determined as our hero.

The downbeat ending leaves a lot of questions open (as with most Damiani crime films) and the film lacks action but the amazing cast and professional look makes this a must see for fans of "A" level Italian entertainment that goes beyond the trappings of typical B-grade genre films. Wild East was nice enough to finally release the film on DVD, completely uncut, in a double feature with another politically charged crime outing entitled "I Am the Law."

Written By Eric Reifschneider